[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode opens inside the turtle’s lair with the turtles playing a ‘stack the can’ game.]
Raphael "That's eleven pizzas you owe me. That's twelve pizzas you owe me."
Michelangelo "Ha, ha! Looks like thirteen was your unlucky number, dude."
Leonardo "Raphael and Michelangelo had a bet going as to who could build the tallest stack of soda cans."
Michelangelo "Yeah, and I left him high and dry. Well, high anyway."
Donatello "You guys can settle up later. It's time for April's news broadcast."
Leonardo "I hope it's good news for a change."
Raphael "In this city?"
April "Leaders of industry are threatening to leave the city as the wave of kidnappings continue."
Splinter "Hmm. That would be most unfortunate."
April "The head of Titani Corp was kidnapped this morning by men dressed in business suits."
Raphael "In business suits? Well, at least this is one crime we won't be accused of."
April "And moments ago, the head of Giganti Corp was skyjacked and his helicopter shot down by more kidnappers dressed as businessmen."
Michelangelo "Whoa, I've heard of hostile takeovers, but this is, like, too gonzo for me."
Leonardo "Hmm. There's something strange going on. I wonder if we should investigate."
Donatello "What for? We're ninja crime fighters, not big-time businessmen."
Splinter "I fear he is right, Leonardo. It is said that the wise bird does not nest in another's tree."
Raphael "Bingo! Which means we're keeping our beaks out of others people's problems."
April "This just in, the top executives of Behemoth Baking Company have been abducted by kidnappers dressed as businessmen. Behemoth is the nation's leading supplier of pizza crust dough, and a global pizza shortage is expected."
Raphael "Oh. Dirty pool! Now they're hitting us where we live!"
Michelangelo "A pizza shortage? How will we survive, dudes?"
Donatello "This time they've gone too far."
Leonardo "Right. Turtles to the rescue!"
Splinter "I knew that would stir their patriotic spirit."
[The turtles, disguised as street maintenance workers, keep watch over an office building.]
Raphael "How come we're staking out a company where nothing's happening?"
Leonardo "Because the Incredibly Huge Corporation is one of the few places that hasn't been hit."
Donatello "Which means they're about due. Just keep your eyes peeled for suspicious-looking men in business suits."
Michelangelo "You mean, like, those suspicious-looking men in business suits?"
[Four men in suits, each carrying a laser blaster, climb out of a car and start up the steps to the building.]
Donatello "It's them. Let's teach these three-piece outlaws a lesson."
Turtles "Aah! Whoa!"
Raphael "Looks to me like they could teach us a few lessons."
Leonardo "All right, kidnappers, gotcha!"
Michelangelo "Hey, dudes, no fair! Put him down."
Kidnapper 1 "As you wish."
Raphael "Nice work, Leonardo. You really showed those guys."
Leonardo "Hey, don't knock it. I did get this. Let's see what's inside."
[He proceeds to pry open the briefcase he took from one of the businessmen.]
Donatello "I don't get it. Crooks dressed as businessmen using blasters that look like something Krang might've dreamed up."
Raphael "Wait a minute. Do you think it's possible?"
Donatello "Exactly what I was thinking. Corporate raiders from Dimension X!"
[Leonardo reads from the paperwork inside the briefcase.]
Leonardo "‘Octopus, Inc. Our tentacles are everywhere’."
Donatello "These guys aren't criminals disguised as businessmen. They actually are businessmen. And with all that firepower they're packing, there's no way we can stop them alone."
Raphael "We've gotta go somewhere and think this out."
Leonardo "And I know just the place—"
[Scene shift to a restaurant.]
Leonardo "The Russian Pizza Room."
Michelangelo "My favorite scarfing establishment."
Waiter "Just as you ordered, comrades. The Moscow pizza special."
Raphael "One miserable slice?"
Waiter "Forgive me, tovarisches. There's not a scrap of pizza dough left in the city. And I thought Russia had shortages."
Donatello "We've gotta do something about these corporate kidnappings. And now!"
Leonardo "Our only hope is to get inside Octopus, Inc. And find out why they're snatching all these businessmen."
Raphael "With these armored shells and green beaks? Heh. Lots of luck."
Michelangelo "Yeah, Raphael's right. We need a human-type dude for this gig."
Donatello "Okay, then. How about April?"
Leonardo "No, forget it. Her face is too well-known from the eleven o’clock news."
Michelangelo "Hey, I got it, compadres! Casey Jones!"
Raphael "Oh, you mean that nutball who thinks he's a crime fighter?"
Leonardo "I hate to say it, but Casey looks like our only hope."
Raphael "Oh, boy, are we in trouble."
[Donatello is talking on a pay phone.]
Donatello "Hello, classified section? I'd like to place an ad. ‘Attention Casey Jones, tonight at midnight, I'm going to rob the candy machine in the park. Just try and stop me'."
Raphael "You really think that'll get his attention?"
Leonardo "You'll see. Just act like you're trying to break open the candy machine."
Raphael "Unh! With pleasure. This thing just ate my quarter!"
Casey Jones "Filthy lawbreaker! Unhand that vending machine."
Donatello "Casey, no! Wait!"
Casey "Low-life vermin, take this!"
Turtles "Move it! Whoa!"
Casey "I'll teach you criminals not to desecrate our fair playgrounds."
Michelangelo "Mellow out, CJ. It's us!"
Leonardo "Don't you remember us? We're the turtles!"
Casey "Ugh! I always knew you were criminals."
Raphael "Hyah! Us? You're the one who's guilty of assault with a deadly hippo, pal."
Leonardo "We need you to go undercover in the Octopus, Inc. building."
Donatello "We've discovered they're behind all these corporate kidnappings."
Casey "Ooh! Those are the biggest crimes in the city right now."
Michelangelo "Exactamundo, dude. And only you can help stop them."
Casey "Hmm, since you put it that way."
[Shift to Octopus, Inc. Casey enters the building and approaches the reception desk.]
Casey "I'm seeking employment."
[The turtles are hiding in their van, monitoring Casey’s progress.]
Leonardo "What are they doing to Casey?"
Donatello "They're accessing his job history. Now to feed them the phony data."
Interviewer "Well now, you do have quite an interesting employment record, Mister –"
Casey "Jones. Casey Jones."
Interviewer "Yes, but I wonder if you're quite right for Octopus, Inc."
Casey "How’d you like to see for yourself, Mr. Scuzzbucket?"
[He pulls a bat from his bag and pounds the desk with it.]
Interviewer "Hmm. A ruthless, violent attitude. I like that. You're hired."
Casey "Okay, turtles. I'm in."
Donatello "Great, Casey. Now keep an eye out for anything suspicious. And above all, be careful."
Casey "Don't worry. I will."
Boss "Hey, Jones! Quit talking to yourself. There's work to be done. Remember, Jones. I've got my eye on you. One wrong move, and you're fired!"
Casey "Oh, yeah? Fire this."
[Casey pulls out his bat and proceeds to bust up the mail room.]
Boss "Whoa! Now, Mr. Jones, I was only fooling sir."
Dark Glasses Employee "Now that's what I like to see in our employees-- good old take-charge aggressiveness. Son, I see big things for you at Octopus, Inc. I'm putting you in our special employee training program."
Donatello "Casey, come in. What's going on? There's no answer."
Raphael "He'd better not be in any trouble, 'cause there's no way we can get him out of there."
Dark Glasses "Now, the training seminar is right through that door. I'm sure it'll give you a whole new outlook on this company.
By turning you all into mindless slaves of our beloved chairman of the board."
[Sotto voce.]
By turning you all into mindless slaves of our beloved chairman of the board."
Donatello "Casey. Casey, come in. Calling Casey Jones. Oh, I hope he's not in any trouble."
Brainwashing Speaker "Welcome to Octopus, Inc.’s executive assertiveness training. As an Octopus employee, you have only one concern-- unquestioning obedience to Octopus, Inc."
[A group of people, along with Casey Jones, are in an auditorium. An octopus legged emblem on the screen in front of them begins to spin, the eyes at its center glowing red.]
Audience "Obedience to Octopus, Inc. Obedience to Octopus, Inc. Obedience to Octopus, Inc. Obedience to Octopus, Inc."
Casey "This is some weird kind of brainwashing. I'm getting out of here."
[Casey tries to stand up, but arms in the chair grab him and pull him back down.]
Casey "Aah!"
Audience "Obedience to Octopus, Inc."
Leonardo "Fellows, I don't like the looks of this. We haven't heard from Casey in over an hour."
Donatello "If he's in trouble, I don't know what we can do about it."
Michelangelo "For sure. We can't fight off all those white-collar crazies."
Raphael "Well, get ready to fight off at least four of them. Look!"
Leonardo "They're going to hit the Itty Bitty Corporation!"
Raphael "Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel."
Donatello "Hey, this gives me a chance to try out my new secret weapon."
Michelangelo "Like, what new secret weapon?"
Donatello "You'll see."
Leonardo "All right, lawbreakers! Freeze!"
[They are fired upon.]
Raphael "Oh, not again."
All "Whoa! Aah!"
Raphael "That's life in the big city."
Donatello "All right, you corporate creeps, prepare to face the retrocatapult!"
[He activates the catapult, but the payload misses the businessmen and pelts the other turtles instead.]
Michelangelo "A gizmo that flings garbage?"
Raphael "The forces of evil everywhere are quaking in terror."
Leonardo "Come on, we'll get their weapons."
Raphael "If their weapons don't get us first. A bucket of water?"
Businessman "Terminate them."
Leonardo "Get their blasters!"
[Donatello tosses water on the businessmen.]
Businessman "Wh--what? Where am I? The last thing I remember was going to the Octopus training seminar."
Leonardo "Do you work for Octopus, Inc?"
Businessman "No, but some of their executives kidnapped me."
Leonardo "Now I get it! All the Octopus, Inc people are brainwashed. And everyone they've kidnapped, too."
Donatello "Yeah. But now we've got a weapon 'cause water undoes the brainwashing!"
Michelangelo "Whoa! I guess there's just nothing like a bucket of soapy water to make a dude come clean."
Donatello "Then let's hurry, because unless I miss my guess, Casey Jones is in serious trouble."
Leonardo "We'll send help."
Brainwashing Speaker "You will lay down your lives for Octopus, Inc."
Audience "We will lay down our lives for Octopus, Inc."
Brainwashing Speaker "You will become total corporate slaves."
Casey "I will become a total corporate slave."
[The turtles enter Octopus Inc wearing disguises.]
Raphael "Excuse us, ma'am. We all are city washbasin inspectors."
Reception "You're what?"
Raphael "We're here to check out a serious violation of city code number 317-b-minus. Uh, that would be cracked porcelain."
Reception "I'm sorry. I'll have to clear you."
Raphael "No time, ma'am. This here's a serious bureaucratic emergency."
Reception "But, but, but –"
Brainwashing Speaker "You will destroy and plunder for Octopus, Inc."
Casey "I will destroy and plunder for Octopus, Inc."
Michelangelo "Yo! CJ!"
Raphael "Snap out of it. There's no use. This guy's in la-la land."
Michelangelo "Totally zoned."
Leonardo "There's only one thing to do. Donatello, let him have it."
[Donatello squirts him with a seltzer bottle of water.]
Casey "Hey, what the heck?"
Leonardo "You're free! Come on."
Casey "Just a minute. I feel an overwhelming need to break something. Namely, this stinking hypnotic equipment! Hyah!"
Raphael "It’d be a lot healthier if you just let your feelings out."
Board Meeting Leader "The purpose of this meeting, gentlemen, is to announce that Octopus, Inc.'s most hush-hush project is finally nearing completion. I give you Octopus stadium! This evening, all Octopus employees, as well as new recruits, will gather in the stadium for the grand arising and take over the world!"
Donatello "Grand arising?"
Raphael "Of what, exactly?"
Leonardo "You've got me. All I know is we've got to—"
Board Meeting Leader "Stop them!"
Michelangelo "Oh, yeah? Take this! Come on, dude, help us get wet and wild!"
Raphael "Uh-oh. Another corporate division."
All "Turtle power!"
Donatello "It's retrocatapult time again. This time it’ll work for sure."
Raphael "Oh, no. Not again! I'm beginning to hate that invention."
Michelangelo "Hey, compadres, do something! We're running out of ammo!"
[Raphael grabs the emergency fire hose.]
Raphael "No sweat, Michelangelo. Am I brilliant, or what? Forget I asked."
Leonardo "The sprinklers are out, too!"
Donatello "Fellas, maybe the water won't run, but that doesn't mean we can't!"
Leonardo "Quick! Casey, use your bat!"
Casey "You don't even have to say please."
[He uses his bat to barricade the door.]
Michelangelo "Nyah, nyah nyah, nyah you can't get us."
Raphael "Will you cool it, Michelangelo. We've got more important things to worry about."
Leonardo "Like figuring out why someone cut off the water supply."
Donatello "Probably because they're wise to what it does."
Michelangelo "Righteous notion, dude. Which means that someone around here isn't hypnotized!"
Leonardo "And I'll lay even money he's behind that door."
Raphael "'Office of the President’. Heh! Let's go for it!"
Leonardo "All right, mister. We're going to put you out of business. Oops!"
Shredder "On the contrary, I've a few corporate strategies I've been waiting to show you."
Leonardo "Shredder! So you're the one behind all these chrome-collar crimes."
Shredder "That's right. I rule Octopus, Inc now, and I've some business for you to discuss with my two vice presidents."
Rocksteady "Shall we take a meeting?"
Michelangelo "I think I liked them better before they turned respectable."
[Rocksteady and Bebop start firing on them. The guys run, but another group of workers bursts through the door. Everyone collides, with the turtles and Casey at the center of the pile.]
Raphael "Don't you agree there's too much violence in today's workplace?"
Bebop "We got ‘em, boss. You want us to finish them?"
Shredder "No. It is almost time for the grand arising. Throw them in with the old man for now."
Donatello "I don't get this. Why has Shredder taken over this company?"
Raphael "And what does he want with that stadium?"
Leonardo "And what is this grand arising business?"
Michelangelo "And who's that old geezer in the corner?"
Rocksteady "Uh, yo, secretary, bring me five hundred jelly donuts and a diet soda. I'm trying to watch my weight. Uh-oh. The boss. Act busy."
Shredder "You lazy mutants! Get the turtles. The time of the grand arising has arrived."
[Leonardo has managed to cut the rope binding him.]
Leonardo "Just a little more and there! Got it."
Raphael "Great. Now free the rest of us."
Donatello "Sir, do you work for Octopus, Inc?"
Casey "What's with that old guy?"
Raphael "I think he's saying he's deaf?"
Donatello "No, just hard of hearing and his hearing aid is broken. I'll bet that's why he was locked up. Because he can't hear, all those brainwashing commands couldn't hypnotize him. There. It's as good as new."
Octavius Ogilvy "Oh, thank you."
Leonardo "Who are you, anyway?"
Ogilvy "I'm Octavius Ogilvy. I'm the president of Octopus, Inc."
Michelangelo "Not anymore. A dude named Shredder is the big kahuna now."
Ogilvy "Shredder? But he was supposed to be a silent partner."
Leonardo "What does he want with Octopus stadium? And what's this grand arising?"
Ogilvy "I don't know. We'll have to check the blueprints."
Casey "If we don't get to break something soon, I'm gonna go nuts."
Raphael "Funny, I thought you went nuts years ago."
Ogilvy "But this isn't the original plan. He's totally changed it."
Donatello "I take it this incredibly elaborate hydraulic system is a new addition?"
Ogilvy "Yes, but the only reason he could possibly want it is to raise something out of the earth below."
Leonardo "So that's what the grand arising is."
Raphael "He's gonna raise the Technodrome back to the surface."
Donatello "Hmm. What are these old buildings beneath the stadium?"
Ogilvy "The ruins of the great Octopus exposition of 1890. It was built to celebrate the founding of the company a hundred years ago."
Donatello "Well, today it's going to save your company along with the rest of the world. Come on!"
[Topside, inside the quickly filling stadium, Rocksteady and Bebop try to sell programs.]
Rocksteady "Get your grand arising programs."
Bebop "You can't tell what's arising without a program."
Shredder "What do you think you're doing?"
Rocksteady "Oh, gee, boss. Can't a junior executive rake in a couple of extra bucks?"
Bebop "Yeah, we want to be big business typhoons."
Shredder "It's almost time for the grand arising. Get down and make sure the hydraulics are in order."
Donatello "Now to get to work."
Casey "All right. Let's waste this pile of junk."
Michelangelo "Hold it, dude. This is a mucho delicato operation."
[Shredder stands on a podium at the center of the stadium field.]
Shredder "Tonight you will be witnesses to history as the Technodrome once again comes to the surface of the Earth. With you as my faithful army of mindless followers, I will rule the world."
Audience "Rule the world. Rule the world."
Shredder "Let the grand arising begin!"
Leonardo "How's it coming, Donatello?"
Donatello "Almost done. Another few seconds. There. It's finished."
Raphael "Yeah! And so are we!"
Rocksteady "I'll say you are."
Donatello "Hang on, guys."
Raphael "Oh, no. Not that rolling booby-trap again!"
Donatello "I promise you this time it'll work."
Rocksteady and Bebop "Ow! Ooh!"
Michelangelo "Supremo invention!"
Donatello "It's starting to rise. Get them out of here!"
Shredder "The Technodrome returns!"
[Water sprays up in the center of the field, carrying Bebop and Rocksteady up with it.]
Bebop and Rocksteady "Ow! Yeow!"
Shredder "What?"
[A huge machine springs up and its tentacles begin spraying water on the audience.]
Stadium Businessman 1 "What? Where am I?"
Shredder "What happened to the Technodrome?"
Rocksteady "The turtles were fooling around with the plumbing down below."
Bebop "Yeah, boss."
Stadium Businessman 2 "Hmph! Ah, what's going on? I don't remember a thing."
Stadium Businessman 3 "Nor I. We must've been hypnotized."
Shredder "They're all coming to their senses. We must flee!"
Bebop "Oh, does that mean we got to give back these suits?"
Ogilvy "Thanks to you, my corporation has been saved."
Leonardo "It wouldn’t have needed saving if you hadn't done business with an evil fiend like Shredder."
Ogilvy "You're right. He was quite the slimeball. I should've listened to my conscience. But from now on, I promise you, there will be a new Octopus, Inc. No longer will greed be our single motivating factor. We will clean up the environment. We will help the underprivileged. We will make this a better world for everyone, regardless of race, creed, or color."
Michelangelo "Even green?"
Ogilvy "Especially green."
Raphael "Hey, it may not be a realistic ending, but it is a happy one."
[End Credits]