[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Open on a closeup of a rat in the city sewer tunnels. It hops down from pipe to pipe, and then runs along one just above the Turtles. Their arms are laden down with pizza boxes and video tapes.]
Raphael "Jeez, are you sure we have enough videos and pizzas, Michelangelo?"
Michelangelo "We'd better, compadre. We've got a whole weekend to get through."
Leonardo "I had no idea there were so many bad Japanese monster movies."
Raphael "Come on. What do you mean "bad"? These are immortal works of art, man."
Leonardo "About giant vegetables?"
Michelangelo "Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you take on Radzilla the Killer Radish."
Leonardo "If you'd practice more and watch TV less, you could take on anything."
Donatello "Uh, guys.
From the looks of things, I'd say it was a bunch of, uh, nerds."
[Ahead of them are a group of guys in lab coats using a machine to direct a ray at a pipe.]
From the looks of things, I'd say it was a bunch of, uh, nerds."
Raphael "Something tells me you boys don't work for the city, am I right?"
[One of the nerds turns the machine and fires on the Turtles, who shout and jump out of the way. Raphael leaps on the one at the controls and knocks him to the ground.]
Glasses Nerd "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses."
Raphael "No, but then, those aren't glasses. They're magnifying lenses."
[Raphael punches him. The redhead nerd fires at Leonardo who dodges. The ray hits a pipe and water shoots out. Using his katana, Leonardo slices the machine in half.]
Leonardo "That'll shut you down."
Donatello "And this'll really steam you."
[He opens the valve on a steam pipe. The steam hits the nerds.]
Glasses Nerd "Ah, let's get out of here!"
Michelangelo "Woah, slick trick, dude."
Leonardo "I knew these pipes had water running through them. But steam?"
Donatello "Oh, sure. The city delivers millions of cubic feet of steam every month for heating, manufacturing…"
Raphael "I always knew this show was educational."
[A bunch of leaflets pour through a street grate above them.]
Michelangelo "Dudes, check it out.
"Opening tomorrow, the most exciting amusement park in the world… Combat Land.""
[He reads a leaflet.]
"Opening tomorrow, the most exciting amusement park in the world… Combat Land.""
Leonardo ""Test your skills against the greatest robot warriors in history and beyond.""
Michelangelo "Whoa. I'd sure like to check that out."
Leonardo "As much as you guys duck practice, I can't see why you'd want to test your skills against those robots."
Donatello "Hey, we pull our fair share, Leonardo. Maybe more than you think."
[Cut to the Combat Land complex. Parked outside is a Channel 6 newsvan.]
Horatio Stressbar "There are three main zones here at Combat Land. The Shogun Zone, where you can test your martial arts mastery against samurais and ninjas, the Medieval Zone, where you can pit your metal against valiant knights and the Future Zone, where we are now, where it's your job to clean up the streets of these cyber warriors."
Vernon Fenwick "It all sounds awfully dangerous."
Stressbar "Not at all. These robots would blow a circuit before they'd harm anyone.
The samurai and knights' weapons are made of soft rubber. And these blasters shoot harmless beams of light."
[He walks over to a lineup of his robots.]
The samurai and knights' weapons are made of soft rubber. And these blasters shoot harmless beams of light."
[He fires a beam of light at Vernon’s forehead.]
Vernon "Yes, but, uh, don't you have any, uh, you know, nice rides?"
Stressbar "Ah, for non-combatants. We have this boat ride, which travels between the various zones."
April O'Neil "This story will generate a lot of publicity for tomorrow's grand opening."
Stressbar "Actually, the park may not open tomorrow. The robots haven't been fully tested yet."
Irma Langenstein "Why not?"
Stressbar "I haven't found anyone with the combat skills to give them a thorough workout."
Irma "April, if the park doesn't open tomorrow, there goes your story."
April "Um, Mr. Stressbar, I think I know some guys who could give your robots a super workout."
Stressbar "Yes?"
[The Turtles have returned to the Turtle Lair. Michelangelo slides a cassette into the player. Off to one side, Leonardo polishes his sword.]
Michelangelo "All right, now for some serious sci-fi and scarfing."
Leonardo "You guys should be practicing."
Raphael "Hey, didn't we just get through kicking these nerds out of the sewers?"
Leonardo "But haven't you noticed we've been doing a lot of that lately?"
Donatello "You know, he's right. This is the third time we've caught somebody messing around with the sewers this month."
Raphael "Yeah. That's probably coincidence."
Michelangelo "Yeah. What jerkazoid in his right mind would wanna to sabotage the sewers?"
[Donatello’s Turtlecom chirps.]
April "Guys, it's April. The new Combat Land amusement park is opening. How would you like to be the first guests?"
Michelangelo "Would we?"
Raphael "Whoa, we're there."
Leonardo "[sighs] You don't wanna practice, but you do wanna go fight robots. Fine."
Donatello "This isn't practice, Leonardo, this is fun."
[They are soon at the amusement park.]
April "This is Horatio Stressbar, the developer of Combat Land."
Stressbar "And this is Denton Nulcet, our chief robotics engineer."
Denton Nulcet "Hello. Oh, dear, forgive me. I'm afraid you're going to have to give us those weapons."
Leonardo "Our ninja code won't let us surrender our weapons."
Nulcet "Tsk, tsk. That's a pity, because our safety code doesn't permit real weapons in Combat Land."
Michelangelo "Whoa, looks like we got no choice, dudes."
Raphael "Great. From heroes to guinea pigs."
[The Turtles drop their weapons on the ground.]
Nulcet "You'll be given special harmless weapons for fighting the robots."
Irma "April, I don't like this. The Turtles should not be giving up their weapons."
April "Irma, you're just being a worrywart."
Irma "I'm telling you, there's a real story going on here. I'm going to get the other mini-cam and find it."
Leonardo "I'm going to the Shogun Zone for some good old-fashioned ninja action. Who's with me?"
Michelangelo "Sorry, dude. I wanna nail some knights in the Medieval Zone."
Donatello "And Raphael and I wanna check out the Future Zone."
Leonardo "But don't you wanna get in touch with our ninja heritage?"
Raphael "Oh, please. Why dwell on the past when you can explore the future?"
[They head inside the zone.]
Leonardo "Fine. I don't need your help anyway. In fact, I'll do better without you."