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 YOU'RE NOT ON 
 NICKTOONS 
 ANYMORE! 

Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1


Leonardo "All right, guys—training's done for the night. Dinner time."

Donatello "Man, is it just me, or do things seem, I dunno... More tense than normal in the city?"

Leo "It's not just you, Donnie—I've noticed it, too. Seems like there's been a lot less petty crime lately but a lot more violent stuff."

Raphael "Me and Casey were just talkin' 'bout the same thing the other day. Whole damn city seems twitchy for some reason."

Michelangelo "Uh... Guys..."

Page 2 & 3

Clown "Hyah!"

Donnie "Gah!"

Mikey "Who the—?"

Page 4

Clown "Ahh, look... Mutant tadpoles. You fancy yourselves ninja, perhaps?"

Clown "Shall we find out what skills you have, little tadpoles, hm?"

Clown "Too slow."

Clown "And not too sharp."

Clown "This move may surprise you."

Clown "Much like this one."

Clown "Might I borrow this for a moment?"

Clown "Too kind!"

KRAK

Clown "Just a minor adjustment to suit my needs."

Page 5

Clown "Have you toads ever heard of the Filipino art of kali, hm?"

Clown "It's an extraordinarily effective fighting form using short sticks—much like these, perfect for multiple attackers."

Clown "Shall I demonstrate? After all..."

Clown "...Seeing is believing!"

Clown "You may have swords..."

Clown "...And sai..."

Clown "...Nunchaku, even."

Clown "But skills?"

Clown "Sadly, no."

Clown "Bang! Bang! You tadpoles are dead."

Clown "Such dreadful students—I pity the failed teacher who trained you so poorly."

Page 6

Clown "And that would be the old, decrepit rat..."

Clown "...Hiding in that old decrepit church, hm?"

Clown «Adieu!»

Raph "Who..."

Mikey "...The hell..."

Leo "...Was..."

Donnie "...That?!"

Mikey "He knows about Father."

Raph "And the church!"

Donnie "Oh... Man."

Leo "Let's move!"

Page 7

Leo "No more messing around, guys—we stop this clown whatever it takes!"

Donnie "I can't believe he broke my staff."

Raph "That's nothin' compared to the way I'm gonna break his face after I slap that stupid mask offa it!"

Page 8

NINTH STREET MARKET

Raph "Man, he's fast!"

Leo "This guy Foot, or what?"

Mikey "The way he was fighting, he's gotta be!"

Donnie "Which way'd he go?"

DOWN HERE! ↓

Raph "I'll give you three guesses."

Donnie "A note? Seriously?"

Leo "Hang tight, guys. This is a setup."

Raph "Oh yeah?"

Raph "Bring it!"

Leo "Raph! Wait!"

Clown "Ah, the impetuous students..."

Clown "...Here for your French lessons, hm?"

Clown «Allez oup!»

Mikey "He's moving just like those French savate guys!"

Donnie "French? I thought he was Filipino."

Clown "You recognize my style?"

Clown "Not completely brainless, it appears."

KLOP

Clown "Yet stupid nonetheless."

Page 9

Clown "The art of fine cuisine is but one of many things the French excel at."

Clown "Take the arts of savate and parkour, for example."

Clown "Today's lesson includes..."

Clown «...Chasse!»

Clown "Free running!"

Clown «Revers!»

Clown "Redistribution!"

Donnie "Yah!"

Donnie "Whoulf!"

Clown «Fouette!»

Raph "Gnf!"

Clown "And, finally, like any true traceur..."

Clown "Leave..."

Clown "...No..."

Clown "...Trace!"

Page 10

Donnie "Cripes! He's gone again! This guy is quick."

Raph "Yeah, quick to run away like a scared little chicken."

Mikey "You mean the scared little chicken that just kicked the crap out of us?"

Raph "Shut up, Mikey."

Leo "All of you shut up and listen. We need to regroup... Focus."

Leo "He had the surprise, but that's over now—and we've got numbers and Father's training on our side."

Leo "Now he's gonna have to face us on our home turf."

Leo "Careful, guys... This dude's sneaky..."

Leo "...He could be anywhere."

Clown "Boo!"

Mikey "Aaah!"

Page 11

Clown "Ha ha ha ha!"

Leo "Sonuva—!"

Clown "Ah, the willful leader..."

Clown "...Predictable as ever."

Clown "Unlike me!"

Leo "Grf!"

Raph "He's changing styles again!"

Clown "Yes, different style..."

Leo "Hrk!"

Clown "...Same results!"

Clown "Wing chun. For the most part, is made up of precise blocks and countering hand strikes."

Clown "Not to mention..."

Mikey "Ahh!"

Clown "...Nerve strikes!"

Clown "When these elements are combined..."

Clown "...It is perfect for defeating four clumsy opponents..."

Clown "...Who are flailing uselessly..."

Clown "...In waist-deep water."

Clown "While I remain like a stalk of bamboo."

Clown "Firm but flexible."

Clown "Rooted but yielding."

Page 12

Raph "I'll bamboo you, ya stinkin' Foot jer—"

Clown "I think..."

Clown "...Not!"

Raph "Gak!"

Clown "It matters not how you attack—I will simply glide through you like the wind..."

Clown "...Choosing the moment when I strike."

Clown "It seems I was mistaken, hm? You four do possess great skill."

Clown "You have mastered the art of failing."

Clown "I am neither Foot nor Savate. I lurk in the shadows, the unknown foe. You do not know me yet... But you will."

Clown "And so, I have defeated the students. Now it is my right to face the sensei in his dojo. Farewell!"

Raph "Raagh!"

Raph "Bastard's gonna pay!"

Leo "Just cool it and hurry, guys!"

Leo "The church is only a few blocks away!"

Page 13

Leo "Dammit, I don't see him..."

Leo "...He must be inside already."

Clown "Wrong."

Raph "Wha?"

WALTZ

Clown "I am simply admiring the view. A cemetery seems apropos for what comes next, does it not?"

Clown "It appears the students aren't as vanquished as I thought."

Clown "Very well... Let's even the playing field."

Clown "My bo-staff..."

Clown "...Against yours."

Clown "Hup!"

Leo "I think I'll stick with my swords, creep."

Clown " "Stick" with your swords, hm? Amusing choice of words, little tadpole."

Clown "Nearly as amusing..."

Clown "...As this!"

CHAK

Page 14

Clown "I, for one, choose to stick with my stick."

Clown "Shall we begin?"

Leo "You're going down!"

Clown "Eventually. But, first..."

Clown "...Up."

Clown "Over."

Clown "Under."

Clown "Center."

Clown "Through."

Clown "Between."

Clown "Above."

Clown "Behind."

Clown "And, finally, yes..."

Clown "...Down."

Clown "Well, that was enjoyable, but time flies, as the saying goes."

WHAM

Clown "And I don't want to be late for my date with your teacher."

Page 15

Donnie "Hold up!"

Mikey "Yeah, we ain't done with you yet, creepy."

Clown "So, you would dance with me again, little tadpoles?"

Clown "Well, I suppose foolishness would not exist without persistance, would it?"

Clown "Far be it from me to refuse."

Leo "Hrk!"

Clown "Please understand, however..."

FWAK

Clown "...That when it comes to dancing..."

Clown "...I always prefer to take the lead."

Clown "So, only one dance partner remains, hm?"

Donnie "I'm not your partner."

Clown "No, you are not. That would imply you are my equal."

Page 16

Donnie "I'm getting sick and tired of all your bragging, man. You caught us by surprise and made us pay for it—I'll give you that much."

Donnie "But you're in our house now—our dojo—and we won't let you direspect our home... Or our master. Ever."

Clown "We shall see."

Donnie "Yes, we will!"

Clown "Uff!"

Donnie "My father gave me the bo-staff you broke!"

Donnie "And when he gave it to me, he told me something I'll never forget."

Clown "Erk!"

Donnie "He said, "this staff is no better or worse than any other, my son..." "

Donnie " "...What matters most is the honor and skills of he who wields it." "

Donnie "It's what he told us all."

Page 17

Clown "So, you have some courage in you after all. Pity you've found it too late."

Clown "I am through toying with the four of you—our game ends now."

Raph "Hate to disappoint you and all, but nothin' ends till we say it does!"

Mikey "Yeah, dude! We're just getting' warmed up!"

Clown "Your braggadocio is precious. But I must disappoint you."

Clown "The time has come for me to call on your master."

Page 18

Leo "Then understand this—the only way to our master is over our dead bodies."

Splinter (Clown) "Then I can only respond that I am honored..."

Splinter "...My sons."

Mikey, Leo, Raph & Donnie "Father?!"

Splinter "Please, forgive me this shock—I realize this must be difficult for you. Just as it is difficult for a father to be so hard on his sons, even when he knows he must."

Splinter "True balance comes, my sons, not only from learning, but from un-learning as well."

Splinter "You have each mastered the fighting styles I have taught you. But as our many battles have surely shown us, our enemies do not always behave in a predictable way... And neither should we."

Splinter "I, like you, sense an ill wind blowing through this city. One that we should not—must not—ignore if we are to survive."

Splinter "So, open your hearts and minds now, my sons—your real training begins tonight. We must prepare ourselves. As ever..."

Page 19

"...We cannot be certain who... Or what... Awaits in the shadows."


Shredder "You are certain, Doctor Miller, that this is the place?"

Patrick Miller "Yes, it has to be..."

Miller "...I've checked and double-checked my findings... Down to the last detail. It's here."

Shredder "For your sake..."

Shredder "...Let us hope you are correct."

Page 20

Oroku Karai "I am doubtful, Grandfather. After all this time... These many years... How could something like this go undiscov—"

Ninja "Master Shredder..."

Ninja "...We have found something!"

Shredder "Then why do you waste time, fool? Bring it out!"

Ninja "Yes, Master!"

Page 21

Shredder "Well, Doctor Miller, it appears you have proven your worth."

Miller "Utterly... Fascinating."

Shredder "Indeed."

Shredder "Welcome, at last, to the new age..."

Page 22

Shredder "...Kitsune."

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