Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Jammer "You mooks ready?"

Maze "Mooks?"

Maze "What're you, my grandpa, Jammer?"

Jammer "Funny, Maze."

Maze "You sure this truck's legit?"

Jammer "Sure, I'm sure. Word on the street is that jalopy's full of the kind of tech Mr. Dun's always lookin' for."

Jammer "We get our hands on it, we keep the boss happy, know what I'm sayin'?"

Maze "Jalopy? Seriously? You really are old, man."

Jammer "Nah."

Jammer "I'm what you call a classic."

Jammer "Okay, Maze, get to slashin' tires before this thing has a chance to roll outta here. Waste the driver if you gotta. Me and Turk will take care of things in the back."

Jammer "If this haul's as important as I think it is, there's bound to be some muscle..."

Page 2

Jammer "...Inside."

Donatello "Well, what a surprise."

Donnie "No."

Donnie "Not really."

Page 3

Jammer "Check it out, Turk. The mutant wants to fight us with a glow stick."

Turk "Stupid."

Donnie "Stupid? Hardly."


Donnie "And this is where you might be a little surprised."


Donnie "Or a lot."

Turk "How'd he do that?"

Jammer "I... Don't know."

Donnie "Not bad for a "glow stick," huh?"

Page 4

"Wait 'till you see our other tricks."

Nobody "Yo!"


Nobody "Hands off the truck."

Maze "Wha—"

Nobody "It's a loaner."


Maze "Hrrgk!"

Maze "Who... Who the hell are you?"

Nobody "Me?"

Nobody "I'm Nobody."

Nobody "God, I love sayin' that."

Page 5

Jammer "Gahhh!"


Donnie "It was getting a little too cramped in there."

Maze "You little—"

Nobody "Nuh-uh..."


Maze "Unf!"

Donnie "Gotta love science, hey?"

Nobody "Word."

Page 6

Jammer "So, you punks got yourselves some upgrades, huh?"

Jammer "Big whoop."


Jammer "You ain't the only ones!"

Nobody "What the—my suit stopped workin'!"

Donnie "EMP!"


Jammer "This ain't over, chumps!"

Donnie "It is tonight."

Donnie "Time to go home, Angel."

Donnie "Hurry! Before the cops see us!"

Nobody "Yeah, yeah—this ain't so easy with my suit turned off, y'know."

Cop A "You see anything?"

Cop B "Just another wild goose chase, man."

Page 7

Jennika "Hyah!"


Leonardo "Unf!"

Leo "Very good, Jennika. You met my katsugi men with debana waza."

Leo "I can tell you've been training with Master Splinter."

Leo "Ow."

Jennika "Thank you, chunin, but it was a fortunate counter on my part, nothing more."

Page 8

Leo "Don't sell yourself short. I've seen you in action—"

Leo "—You're an excellent fighter."

Jennika "Not excellent enough."

Leo "Listen—you're only wasting precious time and energy if you keep blaming yourself for what happened with Alopex."

Leo "Kitsune's mind games had everyone in a flux during that battle, including my brothers.*"

Jennika "But—"

Leo "No buts. It wasn't your fault. If anything, you should be commended for holding back against Alopex the way you did."

Leo "Those scars will heal, Jennika, you'll see."

Leo "All of them."

Leo "Now, come on—we've got a meeting to get to."

Jennika "Jenny."

Leo "What's that?"

Jenny "Before I joined the Foot, my... My family called me Jenny."

Leo "Jenny, huh? Well, looks like that's what I'll be calling you from now on, then."

Leo "Because far as I'm concerned..."

Page 9

"...You are family."

Raphael " 'Bout time you get here, Leo."

Leo "Sorry, we were training."

Raph "Really? You? I never woulda guessed."

Donnie "Almost got it..."

Donnie "...And there!"

Angel "Phew. Finally."

Angel "I was startin' to think I'd be stuck inside that thing forever."

Leo "Where's Mikey?"

Raph "Who knows? Tell ya the truth, kinda had my doubts he was gonna show."

Michelangelo "Well, doubt no more, bro—"

Mikey "—Just had to make a quick detour to Rupert's on the way."

Mikey "Nothin' says family meeting like one of Woody's triple-cheese and anchovy specials."

Splinter "Indeed..."

Splinter "...And we truly appreciate your presence at this gathering, as well as your contribution of sustenance, my son."

Mikey "Thanks, but Woody should totally get all the credit for the grubbage."

Mikey "He threw in the antipasto you like, too, Father."

Splinter "Very kind of your friend, Michelangelo. I will be certain to enjoy his generous gift following our meeting."

Page 10

Splinter "For now, however, allow me to explain why I have called you all here."

Splinter "As you are all aware, the recent attack by the witch Kitsune against our compound resulted in t anumber of unfortunate losses on our side..."

"...Including the disappearance of our friend Alopex."

"This, combined with the dangers posed against us—and against this city we call home—by the group called the Street Phantoms has forced this somewhat impromptu gathering today."

Splinter "We must chart aggressively decisive course of action against our enemies moving forward if we are to have any chance of defeating them."

Splinter "Which brings us first to Kitsune and her immortal siblings."

Splinter "Unlike the Street Phantoms, who remain a mystery to us, we know precisely what the Pantheon seeks to accomplish—"

Splinter "—World dominance by way of the sinister game they play."

Splinter "As such, we must endeavor to develop methods to counteract their movements, albeit in a far more unconventional fashion than against our other enemies."

Splinter "And as Miss O'Neil will explain, we may have unexpected help in that regard."

Splinter "Miss O'Neil?"

April O'Neil "Thanks, Master Splinter."

April "During our trip to the Southwest to investgate Dr. Miller's ninja scroll, Casey and I ran into a couple of Kitsune's siblings—"

Page 11

"—A sister named Aka and a brother who calls himself, of all things, the Rat King."

"Turns out Aka tends to be more benevolent than the others—at least the ones we've encountered so far."

April "She's the one who gave me the feather and the spell that helped stop Kitsune's attack."

Leo "But maybe Aka was just making her own move in their game, April—to get the upper hand on Kitsune or something?"

April "Possibly—but I really don't think so, Leo. Something tells me she's on the up and up and genuinely sympathetic to the human cause."

April "Oh... And the mutant cause, too."

Splinter "And it is a sympathy we must continue to exploit whenever possible. Kitsune's mind control powers are a concern we cannot ignore."

Splinter "If Aka's incantation was able to repel their effects, perhaps there are other methods contained within the scroll that we can utilize to the same ends."

Donnie "You know, as much as I've seen with my own eyes, it's still hard for me to buy into this whole spell-casting thing."

April "You're not the only one, Donnie—"

April "—But that's not how I'm approaching this."

April "I'm treating this as science we don't understand yet, and maybe this scroll is the blueprint we need to decipher in order to get to where we do."

Splinter "Just so. And that is why I would have you work closely with Miss O'Neil in her studies into the Pantheon, Leonardo—and Jennika will assist you both as needed."

Splinter "You seem to have found a way to defy Kitsune's brainwashing power and it would benefit our offensive strategy greatly if you are able to train the rest of us how to do the same."

Raph "Great—we got all the magic mumbo jumbo figured out."

Raph "Now what the heck are we gonna do about Alopex?"

Angel "I was wonderin' the same thing."

Splinter "And I believe Miss O'Neil has important information from her research regarding that situation to share with us as well."

Page 12

April "Yes. I know where to find Alopex."

Mikey "What?"

April "When I was digging through the Foot archives, I came across some of their scientific data, including Alopex's medical files, which seemed to have been deliberately hidden away—"

"—Turns out the scientists who mutated her also micro-chipped her during the process. Somebody—I'm guessing Kitsune—didn't want Alopex to be found when she left the Foot."

"Anyway, I punched the info into one of their tracking computers and it looks like she's heading northwest... And fast."

Angel "Alaska."

Raph "Huh?"

Angel "Alopex told me she's from Alaska. That's where the Foot captured her before they, you know... Changed her."

Angel "I bet she's feelin' ashamed by everything that's happened and probably tryin' to get as far away as she can because of it."

Raph "But that's bull! Stinkin' Kitsune had her all screwed up, just like the rest of us. It wasn't her fault."

Splinter "No, my son, it was not, and we will not abandon Alopex now in her time of confusion."

Splinter "That is why I would have you—and Miss Angel, if she is willing—go to our lost friend and bring her home."

Angel "Willing? You kiddin'? When do we start?"

Raph "Not soon enough."

Splinter "Perhaps sooner than you think, Raphael—"

Splinter "—I have tasked one of our best pilots to speed you on your way just as soon as you are both ready. Time is of the essence."

Splinter "Alopex is family and an integral part of this clan and she must be returned to us quickly."

Splinter "Her warrior kills will be vital to our success in the multiple conflicts we face."

Page 13

Splinter "Which brings us to other matters."

Splinter "Please share the results of your mission with Miss Angel tonight against the Street Phantoms, Donatello."

Donnie "Oh... Mmph... Um, yeah. Okay."

Donnie "So, anyway... Angel and I set up a little ambush earlier against the Phantoms in order to test out some of the countermeasures Harold's developed against their phasing cloaks."

Angel "Yeah—and we had those punks on the ropes pretty good, too, until one of 'em zapped us with some kinda space gun."

Donnie "Localized electron-magnetic pulse gun, to be exact. Temporarily disabled Angel's exo-suit and the new tech I was wearing."

Donnie "I read somewhere that the military was trying to develop them as part of their non-lethal arsenal—looks like the Street Phantoms are more tech-savvy than we thought."

April "You know, Donnie, if you really think about it, Aka's feather-spell was just another kind of EMP. A bit more metaphysical than the Street Phantoms', but it delivered the same result."

Angel "Whatever. I seriously doubt those cloak-wearin' idiots even know what savvy means."

Angel "Someone else has gotta be supplyin' them with all this tech."

Splinter "Indeed, Miss Angel—"

Splinter "—And I believe we know who that might be... And where it takes place."

Splinter "When our young Jennika was still a member of the Assassin Caste, she made covert contact with the Street Phantoms and their leader, a man named Darius Dun.*"

"Her intentions at the time may have been less than noble..."

Splinter "...But fortunately we continue to be able to transform that particular negative into a positive."

Page 14

Raph "So, who's this Darius Dun chump supposed to be, anyways?"

Splinter "An excellent question, Raphael, and one we do not have a complete answer to as of yet."

"Outwardly, he would appear to be a modestly successful businessman..."

Splinter "...But I believe that merely to be a cleverly designed facade meant to hide a far darker reality."

Splinter "Donatello, I would like you to continue to work with Harold Lilja to increase the functionality and availability of our technical assets."

Splinter "Whoever Darius Dun truly is, your battle with his Street Phantoms tonight further establishes our immediate need for more advanced countermeasures—"

Splinter "—As well as the weapons that will allow the Foot Clan to strike pre-emptively and mercilessly."

Mikey "Um, excuse me."

Mikey "Father, I want Alopex back just as bad as anyone here, but to help her, 'cause that's what I really think she needs right now more than bein' another soldier in your army."

Splinter "Michelangelo, of course we will tend to Alopex's trauma first."

Mikey "Why? So you can stick her right back in the war to get hurt again?"

Mikey "Let's be honest—the whole time we've been here, you've been sayin' things like "exploit" and "techincal assets" and "advanced countermeasures" and "pre-emptively," and it totally sucks."

Mikey "Whatever happened to "protection" and "defending" and "honor"... And all the other stuff you used to say against the Foot?"

Page 15

Leo "What's your point, Mikey? We are the Foot—why would Master Splinter speak against his own clan?"

Mikey "No, Leo—you guys are the Foot. I don't want anything to do with it."

Leo "Then why are you here?"

Mikey "I'm here because you invited me... And because I thought we were havin' a family meeting like the old days, not some stupid war council!"

Leo "What's so stupid about implementing a sound strategy? Would you rather we ignore the dangers and just let them control us?"

Leo "Talk about stupid."

Mikey "No—stupid is attacking first! Stupid is lookin' for trouble instead of stoppin' it!"

Leo "Come on—save the drama, Mike!"

Leo "This is serious business... And it's way past time we all grow up and deal with it like adults!"

Mikey "I—"

Mikey "Funny... 'Cause that's exactly what I thought I was doin'."

Mikey "You know what... Forget it—I knew comin' here was gonna be a mistake. I'm goin' home... To the lair."

Mikey "I need some more time alone to figure out why, if we beat the Shredder..."

Mikey "...It still feels like he's winnin' and we're losin'."

Page 16

Splinter "Yes, well... Perhaps it is time to conclude this gathering."

Splinter "You all have your instructions—I trust each of you will fulfill them to the best of your abilities."

April "Oh... Hi, Casey. It's... It's good to see you."

Casey Jones "Yeah. Same."

April "Well, um... I better be going. Lots of work to do."

Casey "Sure. No problem."

Splinter "Casey Jones?"

Splinter "Would you be so kind as to join me for a walk?"

Page 17

Splinter "Thank you for accompanying me, child. I find that our new abode can become... Stifling at times."

Casey "Really? That seems kinda weird comin' from a guy who used to live in the sewer."

Splinter "It is rather ironic, is it not?"

Splinter "May I ask you why you remained so quiet during our meeting, Casey Jones? It seems uncharacteristic of your nature."

Casey "I dunno... I guess I was feelin' like a third wheel in there. Everyone has somethin' to do in this war 'cept me."

Splinter "Ah, I see."

Casey "And the whole thing with Mikey was kinda—no offense—awkward."

Splinter "Yes. Michelangelo adamantly continues to make a personal decision we must respect."

Casey "Still... Bummer, huh?"

Splinter "Just so."

Splinter "Please forgive my intrusiveness, but I would have you know that I am fully aware of your most recent troubles with Miss O'Neil. I am sorry for your separation."

Casey "Yeah, well... Story of my life, right?"

Casey "Can I ask you a personal question, Master Splinter?"

Splinter "Of course, child."

Casey "Do you regret killin' the Shredder?"

Splinter "Hm. There is no easy answer to that question, I'm afraid."

Page 18

Splinter "In truth, I abhor violence of any kind—even against my most fervent enemies. But in two lifetimes I have learned that my revulsion for physical confrontation must often be weighed against unfortunate necessity."

Splinter "Oroku Saki was very much a brother to me. But as the Shredder, he posed a deadly threat to my family and I could not allow that to stand, no matter my personal misgivings..."

Splinter "...No matter the cost."

Splinter "You ask me if I regret killing the Shredder. Perhaps the more appropriate question is do I regret doing what I had to do to protect those I love most in this world."

Splinter "The answer, quite simply, is no... I do not. And if faced with the same terrible decision, I would do it again—no matter the cost."

Splinter "Do you understand what I am saying to you, Casey Jones?"

Casey "Yeah... Yeah, I think I do."

Casey "Yer sayin' it's a dirty job... But someone's gotta do it."

Splinter "Yes, dirty..."

Splinter "...And extremely dangerous."

Splinter "It is certainly not for the faint of heart."

Splinter "And that is why you and I are out here, young man—"

Page 19

"—To discuss your crucial role in this war."

Harold Lillja "Damn you, woman. Why?"

Harold "{Sigh}"

Jammer "Cool toy."

Page 20

Harold "Who—"


Harold "Gyah!"

Jammer "Almost as cool as ours."

Maze "The inventor says hi."

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