Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

[Present day.]

Raphael "Put the kid down..."

Raphael "...Now."

Page 2

Arnold Jones "I don't know who the hell you are, but you don't come into my house knockin' down doors and givin' orders."

Casey Jones "Dude, it's cool. I don't need no help. I got this. He's just drun—"


Casey "—Gnf!"

Arnold "You keep yer mouth shut, mutt!"

Raph "All right, that's it!"

Arnold "Bring it!"

Raph "Raah!"

Page 3

Arnold "Uff!"

Raph "You need a little taste..."

Arnold "Guh!"

Raph "...Of your own stinkin' medicine!"

Arnold "Mmf!"

Arnold "Tastes good."

Arnold "My turn."

Page 4

Raph "Ngh!"

Arnold "Urf!"

Arnold "How's my knee taste, huh?"

Raph "Hkk!"

Arnold "I grew up on these streets, punk... Fightin' is part of livin'!"

Arnold "...Let me show you!"

Arnold "Yagh!"


Page 5

Arnold "Guh! What the..."

Raph "...Shell."

Raph "Heh."

Raph "Tag. I'm it."

Raph "Not so tough now, are ya, big man?"

Arnold "Unff!"

Raph "Ain't so fun when someone fights back, is it?"

Raph "Is it?!"

Page 6

Raph "Ain't done yet? Good. 'Cause I can go all night."

Arnold "Screw... Screw you, man."

Arnold "Friggin' no good, sonuva..."

Arnold "Screw the both of youse!"


Page 7

Casey "Let him go. He does this crap alla time."

Casey "'Course, this is the first time a total stranger busted in outta nowhere to kick his butt while he was doin' it. 'Specially one that looks like... You."

Raph "Yeah... Uh... Sorry 'bout your door. It's just, you know... I heard your dad hittin' you and—"

Casey "Don't sweat it. Like I said, ain't like it's the first door ever busted in this house."

Raph "Yeah. Alright."

Raph "What 'bout you? You okay?"

Casey "Dunno, man... You tell me."

Casey "I'm just wonderin'..."

Page 8

"...Where the heck did you come from?"

[Fifteen months earlier.]

April "...You nearly gave me a heart attack. Again!"

April "Huge school report due in the morning and you and the stupid slow internet at my dorms sure aren't helping the case."

April "Hey... What've you got there?"

April "Eww... Rat slobber. This night just gets better and better."


April "Where the heck did that darn rat get this?"

Page 9



Page 10

April "What in the world...?"

Terrapin/Human Exo-Armor Synthesis
Military Applicat[...]
Battlefield [...]

April "Huh?"

April "Geez, April... Rats, mystery disks, and now you're seeing things. What's..."

April "...Next?"

Page 11

April "Um... Are you guys the night security?"

Ninja "Eliminate her. I will retrieve the specimens."

April "Eliminate me? For studying? Is this some kinda joke?"

April "Chet? Lindsey? Is that you two?"

April "Um... Guys?"

April "Oh..."

April "...No!"

Page 12

April "Stay back!"


Page 13

April "No... Don't..."



Ninja "This way! The alarm's coming from this way!"

Ninja "Finish her and go quickly! The master does not want us identified!"

Same Ninja "I will take what I can."

April "...No!"

Ninja "Gaah!"

Page 14

April "Help me! In here!"

Ninja "Unng..."

Ninja "Vanish!"

Cop "Who the hell is that..."

Same Cop "...Yelling?"

April "He almost... Killed me."

Cop "No one else here..."

April "Splinter?"

April "Oh... Guh... Guh... God..."

Page 15

Ninja "Gah!"

Page 16

Same Ninja "Vile rodent!"

Same Ninja "Rah!"


Page 17

Old Hob "Mraawr..."

Hob "Hssss!"

"Do you really think we'll be able to get him back, Master Splinter?"

Page 18

[Present day.]

Leonardo "I mean—do you really believe it's possible we'll find Raphael?"

Splinter "If I did not believe it was possible, Leonardo, our search for your brother would have already concluded. You must believe it as well."

Leo "I... I guess I do, Master."

Donatello "I don't know. The odds against locating a missing individual in a metropolis the size of New York are just about atronomical, if you ask me."

Splinter "Be that as it may, Donatello, there are far greater powers at work in the world than mere statistical analysis, and they are often too easily ignored and underestimated."

Michelangelo "Well, I wish those powers would hurry up and help us. I'd rather duke it out with Old Hob and his goons any day of the week than waste time lookin' through every reekin' alley and pigeon-pooped rooftop for Raphael."

Page 19

Splinter "So, then, Michelangelo, you claim the search for your lost brother to be a poor use of your time?"

Mikey "No, Master, it's not that. I mean, I really do wanna find Raphael—we all do. It's just, well..."

Mikey "...It's just that we've been lookin' everywhere for him for like a year now. And we've got zilch to show for it. Maybe Donnie's right—maybe it is impossible."

Mikey "Maybe... Maybe knockin' heads with geeks like Old Hob is what we should be doin' instead—somethin' that matters, you know?"

Splinter "I understand your frustration, my son, as well as your restlessness. I, too, am disappointed each time we fail to locate your brother."

Splinter "But... I do not believe we have looked everywhere, as you say, and for this reason, and many others, we must continue our search."

Splinter "Our battle against Old Hob's gang tonight was—as are all battles we will fight—an unfortunate necessity. Any value derived from it is hollow at best. Our war has only just begun, and Hob is only the first of many enemies I fear we will be forced to confront."

Splinter "The only victory we must actively pursue is the return of Raphael. To our clan—to our family. Only then can we allow ourselves a moment of triumph, for then our circle will at last be complete and we will be truly ready to face the hardships that lie ahead."

Splinter "Until then, however, we must continue to search for your brother, for without him..."

Page 20

"We, too, are lost."

Casey "So, you're homeless and can't remember your name, huh? Man, that must suck."

Casey "Not that it's much better here."

Raph "Yeah, it's tough, I guess. But it's always been that way for me, far as I remember, so I'm kinda used to it."

Casey "Well, I'm Casey. Casey Jones. Nice to meet ya."

Raph "Um... Yeah. The same."

Casey "Don't leave me hanging, bro!"

Raph "Right. Yeah."


Raph "Hey, can I ask you somethin', uh, Casey?"

Casey "Yeah. Shoot."

Raph "What the hell was this all about tonight? The thing with your dad and you, I mean."

Casey "Aw, same ol' same ol'—my dad's a professional drunk, and not the fun kind, you know. He gets mean when he's been drinkin', so he's pretty much mean all the damn time."

Casey "Been that way ever since my mom died."

Raph "That sucks. I probably made it worse by beating him up, huh?"

Page 21

Casey "Nah, man. Ain't no biggie. He probably went to get more booze when he tore outta here. That lush won't even remember any of this tomorrow."

Casey "And, uh... Thanks for jumpin' in like that, man. Sometimes he gets pretty rough, and I think tonight was gonna be one of those times."

Raph "It's cool... No worries. I'm just surprised, is all."

Casey "Surprised? 'Bout what?"

Raph "You."

Casey "Me?"

Raph "Yeah, you. Why ain't you scared of me? You know—of the way I... I look? Everyone usually is."

Casey "Ha! Yeah, you ain't exactly Brad Pitt, are ya?"

Casey "But, dude, you met my old man. Next to him, you're a friggin' teddy bear."

Raph "Thanks. I guess."

Page 22

Casey "Don't mention it."

Casey "You hungry, bro? 'Cause I'm starvin'!"

Raph "Yeah, as long as it ain't garbage. I'm sick of eatin' garbage."

Casey "Tell you what—let me get some stuff from my room and we can go out and snag some grub."

Casey "And maybe..."

Casey "...We can have ourselves some fun on the way."

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