Big Guns, Bad Attitudes is a Mutanimals issue, published in October 1992.
Appearing in Big Guns, Bad Attitudes[]
Major characters[]
- Azrael
- Dreadmon
- Jess Harley / Leatherhead
- Jack Finney / Man Ray
- Jagwar
- Mondo Gecko
- Screwloose
- Wingnut
Minor characters[]
Locations[]
- Desert
- Skull temple
Synopsis[]
Armed to the teeth, the Mutanimals walk through the desert to save Jagwar’s mother, Juntarra. Man Ray, suffering under the blistering heat, reviews what they know – which is she fought some sort of Grim Reaper and that he rode off across the desert with her. After several days they are dragging their weapons as they listlessly trudge through the heat. Man Ray suggests they split up to cover more ground, but then Dreadmon spots the Eagle.
As Jagwar wonders if it’s the same one that tried to warn Juntarra about Death, the Eagle responds in the affirmative and transforms into a beautiful woman. She welcomes them to the last of the Four Winds, the East, and introduces herself as Azrael.
Azrael says that she’ll lead them to where Juntarra is held captive, but in return she asks that they help save the Path of the Four Winds. Man Ray begins to ask how they can do this, when Azrael notes that he does not look well. He replies that he doesn’t feel well and he’s never been away from water for so long and never under desert conditions. Suddenly he collapses from dehydration. Leatherhead picks him up and they follow Azrael, who says there is a spring close by.
Just inside a cave, Man Ray relaxes in the spring and is soon feeling much better. Azrael suggests they wait until the hottest period of the day has passed before moving on. While they do so, she begins to tell them of the common threat facing them all. She says that the Grim Reaper has not only taken Juntarra, but is also responsible for creating this desert wasteland. Not long ago the entire area was filled with tropical lowlands, filled with swamps and lakes, including Lake Resurrection, the Sacred Lake of the East and the last stop for those who have followed the Four Winds.
Mondo Gecko asks how Death did all this and Azrael says that he is not alone; all the damage was done by using bad magic that allows the worst of reality to eat away at the land of the Four Winds. Screwloose lifts an alien weapon three times his size and says its all the more reason to stop the Reaper. Jagwar comforts Azrael and then says they must not waste more time. He asks Man Ray if he’s well enough to travel and receives an affirmative reply. In another few hours they are once again all feeling tired and hungry when Azrael suddenly stops them, indicating a need for silence. They climb a nearby hill and look down upon the Skull temple. Azrael tells them that somewhere deep within is where Juntarra can be found. Jagwar is ready to charge in but Azrael urges him to wait for nightfall when the dark can shroud their approach. It is in less than an hour so Jagwar agrees to wait.
Inside the cave, a voice urges Juntarra to wake up, telling her they don’t have much time. She wakes and curses as she finds that she’s bound to a chair and back to back with another chair on which a tied-up Kid Terra is sitting. He tells her they need to hatch a plan for breaking out of there and then asks if she speaks English. Juntarra curses again as she wants to know who he thinks he is to be telling her what to do. Kid Terra ignores the cursing and tells her his name. He goes on to tell her that he used to work for Null, but turned on his employer when the guy tried to sell the world to a bunch of aliens. Kid Terra guesses he’s captive as some sort of revenge and then wants to know her story.
Juntarra is reluctant, but finally tells him her name. She explains that she is from the Mayoruna Tribe that lives along the Javari River, in the land called Brazil. Kid Terra is skeptical, saying she doesn’t look Indian and her English is peppered with Spanish, rather than Portuguese. She sneers and says her parents were Spanish missionaries who tried to convert the Mayoruna, who did not want to be converted. They killed her parents, but because they respect the innocence of the child, she was allowed to live. She was converted to Mayoruna and was taught all the secrets of the rain forest, save one. Only men were allowed to become Shamans, and so only men were allowed to become persons of knowledge by taking the Path of the Four Winds.
Juntarra says that was a number of years ago and rants about being captured by that skeleton. Kid Terra understands why he was captured but not her. Juntarra doesn’t know for sure, but one of the choices is because she is Jagwar’s mother. Kid Terra reacts with surprise.
Nightfall has come. The Mutanimals and Azrael head for the Skull temple, thinking they have the element of surprise. Suddenly a man speaks, saying he hopes all those big guns weren’t meant for him. They recognize Null, who stands atop a tall rock. He says he wants to play a game called revenge. As he’s telling them he hopes they’ll like it, an army of laser-wielding robot skeletons march forward. The two groups begin firing at one another, but the Mutanimals soon learn that their shots are bouncing off of the robots. One by one, the Mutanimals turn and run. However, Screwloose sits back on the ground and shoots a robot between the legs. He starts to gloat and is nearly shot, but Dreadmon scoops him up and runs.
Unfortunately, Dreadmon runs right into a robot and both he and Screwloose are knocked out. Wingnut leans over Screwloose in concern but is blasted into unconsciousness. Backed against a cliff, Man Ray keeps fighting but is soon shot and falls. Mondo rolls down the cliff on his skateboard and manages to knock the head off of one of the robots, but the headless robot fires on him and scores a hit. Only Jagwar, Leatherhead and Azrael are left standing.
Then Jagwar is blasted and Leatherhead tells Azrael to take up his gun. The two continue firing on the advancing robots, but it isn’t long before they are out of ammunition. Leatherhead tells Azrael to make like a bird, because things could get ugly. With a grin, Null lights a cigar and says this is the part he likes best.