Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

[Below ground, away from the Earth Protection agents that now comb the Port of Houston, at the bottom of a drainage basin.]


Savanti Romero "We'll be safe down here."

Savanti "Can you hear me... Bebop and Rocksteady? Have you given up? Succumbed to death?"

Savanti "Of course you haven't. It seems that even as humans you doggedly persist, too stupid to know when it's all over. But that's good!"


Savanti "Once again, Bebop and Rocksteady, I have come back for you!"


Savanti "I am Savanti Romero, your onetime master, and I have come to save you!"

Page 2

Savanti "Even though the last time we met you wretched fools were very, very rude!"

Rocksteady "A-And that was... The first time we met."

Bebop "...Beat you good..."

Savanti "Ha ha ha, right! For you it was the first time... Nevertheless, I'm ready to forgive you."


Savanti "With my magic I will save your miserable lives. I will change you back into mutants, but in exchange you will once more serve me as my loyal henchmen. Your loyalty for your lives... Do we have a deal?"

Bebop "...Sss..."

Savanti "You'll have to speak up. What was that?"

Rocksteady "Y-Yes glhck—"


Savanti "Good. Good. Hold still. This won't hurt a bit."


Savanti "Now! Step back from the brink of death and return to your mutant mode."

Savanti "Your master, Savanti Romero, commands it!"

Page 3

Rocksteady "We're back, Bebop. We're back!"

Bebop "I was going into a light."

Bebop "I heard my grammy calling to me, sayin' I been bad and I was coming the wrong way, and I was like, "Shut up, ya ol' bag." "

Bebop "And she was like, "You shut—" "

Bebop "Wow. My arm's still jacked up."


Savanti "As mutants your wounds heal quickly, but we'll still need to set that bone using this brace. Does that hurt?"

Bebop "Tickles."


Savanti "We can even see when it's healed with this X-ray feature."

Bebop "Whaaa?!"

Bebop "We're mutants again, I got a bone arm now, and as if that's not enough, we're also not dead!"

Rocksteady "Man, Savanti boss, you're the best weird little devil guy ever!"

Savanti "No hugs. No hugs! You'll totally get blood all over my uniform, you clueless fools!"

Page 4

Savanti "Now it's time for your end of the bargain."

Savanti "You will come back with me to the 79th Dimension. As my servants you will help me storm the Paradox Presidio and kill Supreme Justice Lord Discordance."

Bebop "The 70-Nice-to-Mention? But we was tryin' to get back to New York."

Savanti "Seventy ninth Dee-men-sion. And you can so totally forget about new work!"

Savanti "Since my escape from exile I've been on the run operating on the fringes, flying under the radar, while I rebuild my power."

Savanti "That is until that whistle-stopper Discordance joined the Council. For years now he's been after me."

Bebop "Years? But it ain't been that long."

Savanti "For you. For me ten years have passed since our time on prehistoric Earth."

Bebop "Rocksteady, does that mean we was driving for ten years?"

Rocksteady "He said "for him." Guy must live on dog years or somethin', Bop."

Savanti "Storming the Presidio is something I can't do alone."

Savanti "I've been unable to pull it off because like every henchman I bring stabs me in the back!"

Savanti "What I need is complete loyalty! And a willingness to commit vile atrocities."

Rocksteady "Assumin' "vile atrocities" means what we think it means, you came to the right guys."

Bebop "Yeah, and I guess we ain't got no choice with the loyalty part."

Savanti "You're more right than you know, Bebop."

Savanti "The spell I used to turn you back into mutants will soon wear off and only I can cast it again."


Bebop "We'll help you."

Rocksteady "Lord Disco-Dance is dead."

Page 5



Ravenwood "They have to be here... I can feel it—"

Soldier "Agent Ravenwood, we've found something you should see."

Agent "This is footage from a security camera taken here at the port."

Ravenwood "And what is the significance of this footage, agent?"

Agent "Wait just a moment... There! There did you see?"

Agent "They just vanished!"

Ravenwood "This dumpster, where is it? And what do we know about these two men?"

Agent "We know one of them works here at the port. His name is Maxence Ne—"



Ravenwood "What in the world is that?!"

Page 6


Ravenwood "My God. What is going on here?"


Time Policewoman "Can't get a lock on Savanti, but we are reading a match on the dimensional disruptions."

Time Policewoman "He's like totally using distortion fields to mask his signal."

Time Police Captain "Put this city on dimensional lockdown. Nobody in or out till we catch him."

Time Police Captain "We'll turn this place upside down if we have to."


Page 7

Savanti "This way! We must hurry!"

Bebop "Dang, it feels good to be mutants again! I feel like myself."

Rocksteady "We was never cutout to be one of those lose-nerds."


Bebop "And I guess being Savanti boss' henchmen again is probably the best we're gonna get."

Rocksteady "I was really getting used to us being a gang of two, but this is gonna be great!"

Bebop "Henchmen again!"

Savanti "Silence, you ninnys! Here it is!"

[...] LOFTS



Savanti "Now hurry aboard! The Time Masters are coming."

Rocksteady "Last one in is a rotten egg!"


Time Police "Got him! Flying a Dimension-80 class time vessel."


Savanti "...Well, I'd rather be a rotten egg because nobody would eat me."

Rocksteady "Wait, is it that you can be a rotten egg or a fresh egg?"

Bebop "What, no! You're a rotten egg or you're your normal self!"

Savanti "That makes no sense."


Savanti "Curses! They've found us and I can't open a portal! They must have locked the whole city down."

Bebop or Rocksteady "How can we help, Savanti boss?"

Page 8

Savanti "Use the Scrapper-Pods. They're simple to fly. Even you stupid twits can do it."

Bebop "You want us to fly those?"

Rocksteady "Hey, Bebop, you thinking what I'm thinking?"


Bebop "Ha ha! Oh yeah! Let's takeit to the danger zone!"

Rocksteady "My man!"



Savanti "These fools have underestimated me."

Savanti "Now with the three of us we'll take the flight to them and they will rue the day they crossed... Savanti Romero!"

Bebop "Yeah, we'll pound these pukes to particles!"

Rocksteady "Weapons? Check. One high-powered mutant? Check. A pile of dead meat?"

Rocksteady "Coming right up."


Rocksteady "Okay, B, lets see what these puppies can do."

Bebop "Rock and roll!"



Savanti "What are you buffoons doing?!"

Bebop >Just getting a feel for her, Savanti boss. And buildings?<

Bebop >Turns out we want to avoid them.<

Page 9


Rocksteady "Roger that, Bebop, avoid buildings. I'm engaging the bogies, vector 709er."

Rocksteady "Talk to me, Bopwop."


Bebop "Roger. Um. Contact at 20 knots. I'll get a visual ID, Rock. You hook em..."

Rocksteady >Roger. And I'll clean em and fry em.<

Savanti "What is this idiotic babble?! This isn't fishing! Shut up and get them off my tail!"


Bebop "Got another building."

Rocksteady >Get back in the game, B!<

Bebop "It's no good... It's no good! Talk to me, Goose..."


Time Police "Captain, you want us to like, pursue the Scrapper Pods or what?"

Time Police Captain >Negative. They... Don't seem to be a threat. Stay on Savanti.<

Page 10


Ravenwood "Trans-dimensional craft, this is Special Agent Ravenwood with the Earth Protection Force."

Ravenwood "Please response. If you do not cease your activity we will be forced to fire on you."


Helicopter "Look out!"

Ravenwood "...Was tha—oh no!"


Bebop "It's fine. I'm okay."

Savanti >Bebop? Bebop, this is Savanti. Who are you talking to?<

Ravenwood "It's them! Bebop and Rocksteady are in the smaller aircraft!"

Page 11




Savanti "Bebop! Rocksteady! You nimrods, where are you?!"

Savanti "You're supposed to be getting these cops off me! I command you to get them! Do you hear me?"

Savanti "I'll turn you human again! Don't make me do it!"

Bebop >Geez, take a chill pill, boss.<

Savanti "Bebop, I'll take a chill pill all the way to the bank! Now get over here!"


Rocksteady "Don't worry, Savanti boss, I'll save you!"




Rocksteady "Die, superior feed bags!"

Rocksteady "Haha! Wicked cool!"

Page 12

Rocksteady "Oh, dang! Where's the brakes!"




Page 13

Ravenwood "Bebop, listen to me. My name is Ravenwood. These helicopters are with the Earth Protection Force."

Ravenwood "We're here to help. I need you to land peacefully and come with me."

Ravenwood "I promise nobody is going to hurt you."

Bebop "Hurt me? Hurt me? I would love to see them try!"

Bebop "Nah, nah, nah, I'm onto your game. Razzmatazz told me all about the men in black with your black helicopters and all the terrible things you would do to us!"

Bebop "You can forget it, lady!"

Ravenwood "Bebop, no—"


Bebop "You don't mess with the best!"


Soldier "His maneuverability is superior to ours, ma'am! We can't take much more of this."

Ravenwood "No more! No more lives will be lost. This ends now."


Ravenwood "You seem determined to do everything the hard way. You leave me no choice."



Page 14

Bebop "Y-Y-You don't mess... W-W-With the Be—"


Ravenwood "All units open fire."


Bebop "You lousy pondscums. Lets seem if you can take as much as you can dish out!"


Bebop "?"


Helicopter Pilot "Mayday! Mayday!"


Bebop "My do!"

Page 15



Savanti "Cretin, you're supposed to save me!"

Time Policewoman "We've unlocked Savanti's radio channel. We can totally talk to him now."

Time Police Captain "Savanti Romero, land your craft and surrender. We've got you. There's no escape."

Savanti >Ha ha! As if! I'll never surrender. I'll never kowtow to your council of corruption.<

Discordance "Corruption? You're one to talk, Savanti. Your character's as atrocious as your appearance."

Savanti >Discordance? Is that you? You would come for me personally. I mean like get a life, man!<

Discordance "That's so funny, I forgot to laugh, because it's like you who's totally trying to kill me!"

Savanti >Kill you? Who told you these lies? You're the one after me! I only want to be left in peace!<

Discordance "Oh, I am so sure. Save your lies, you joke. You've been trying to break into my estate. I know everything!"

Savanti >Everything? You know nothing. No, you know one thing and it's how to be a total idiot.<

Discordance "Enough! Captain, bring this donkey-clown down!"

Rocksteady >Donkey clown! He got you good, Savanti.<

Discordance "Who's that? Who else is on this channel?"

Rocksteady >Um... Nobody. Uh, I'm a ghost. Oooohh!<

Page 16

[...]20: 10:35: 7:40:69:51:08:8[...]


Rocksteady "Ha. Just kidding ya, Disco."

Rocksteady "It's me, the guy with a super blaster pointed at your butt."

Savanti "Rocksteady, wait!"

Rocksteady "Turn and burn!"



Page 17


Rocksteady "Uh, Savanti boss? You alive?"


Time Police >We've got you, Rocksteady.<

Time Police >Prepare for the incapacitator emission.<



Rocksteady "Oh. Not again."

Page 18

Discordance "It brings me so much pleasure to see you like this, Savanti."

Discordance "The council has called for you to be exiled to the ice age, but I'll be pressing for a sentencing with more... Finality to it."

Savanti "I'll get free. I always get free!"

Savanti "And when I do, say your prayers, Disco-Dance, cause by the sands of time I will totally have my vengeance!"

Time Policeman A "Okay, so. Bebop and Rocksteady... You two are under arrest for 1. Conspiring to muder a member of the high council 2. Operating like totallyillegal transdimensional vehicles 3. Resisting arrest—"

Bebop "Hey, save your breath, pal."

Rocksteady "Yeah. You heard it once, you heard it a thousand times."

Time Policeman B "Like, fine by us. But you should know, we're totally taking you to the 79th Dimension to be put in prison, so like, yeah."

Bebop "What the—"

Bebop "Gah! No! Savanti was right."

Bebop "His spell did wear off. And my arm... This really hurts."

Time Policeman B "Huh, would you look at this. These two have got some kind of time field stuck on them, it like reverts their bodies back to a period eight years ago."

Time Policeman A "You're kidding!"

Time Policeman B "Well, like look at them."

Time Policeman A "I'll just erase it."


Page 19

Rocksteady "We're back, Bebop. We're back!"

Time Policeman B "You know it was totally Savanti that put that time field on you, right?"

Bebop "Uh... Savanti what now?"

Time Policeman A "Savanti! He changed you into humans to manipulate you. Make you think you needed him."

Bebop "...Interesting."

Time Policeman A "Still not getting it, huh?"

Rocksteady "Wait. Wait wait wait."

Rocksteady "Where?"

Time Policeman A "That question doesn't even apply! Savanti! Played you for cumps! Get it?"

Time Policeman B "Great! Just great. These two aren't even in the right dimension. They're one variant off."


Time Policeman A "No! I am not hauling these guys to the Bopsteady verse."

Time Policeman A "I'm like so sick of having to do that. It's just one variant! That's nothing!"

Time Policeman B "Rules are rules. Gotta restrain 'em."


Page 20

Time Policeman B "Aaahhh—"

Bebop "Ha! He did it again! Get him, little guy!"

Rocksteady "Rip em up!"

Rocksteady "Actually, I'm starving. Lemme get in on that..."

Bebop "Hey, buddy, check it out, our new car!"

Rocksteady "We're back on track, Big Bopper. New York, here we come!"

Bebop "Wonder what kind of tunes they got in here."


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