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 YOU'RE NOT ON 
 NICKTOONS 
 ANYMORE! 

Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

[In the south Texas brush country, on the banks of the Rio Grande.]

Ravenwood "Damn it."

Ravenwood "I should have gotten here sooner."

Bobby Browder "Last we knew they were heading up Highway 57. We couldn't have foreseen them crossing out here... Bad luck for these Border Patrol agents."

Ravenwood "This is all my fault. If I had acted faster, these agents would be alive right now... The longer Bebop and Rocksteady are loose, the more lives will be lost. We've go to help them."

Browder "Help them? You really believe mutants deserve any compassion? You see what they're capable of."

Ravenwood "I know something about the trauma of mutation. And there's no animal that ever asked for that. Humans are the cause of their anguish, and that means we have some responsibility to these poor souls."

Soldier "Agent Ravenwood, we found a survivor!"

Same Soldier "He says he was thrown."

Ravenwood "Let's get him down!"

Border Patrol Agent "They were part animal, part man. They killed everyone, crossed the river, smashed the boat into shore, and darted off into the brush."

Same Agent "I've never seen anything like that."

Bebop "Almost got it! Faster!"

Rocksteady "Think I hurt my knee when we crashed that boat."

Page 2

Bebop "This is a nightmare! What are we going to do?"

Rocksteady "Gee. Seems like a normal train car to me, Bee."

Bebop "No, man! The mutation's wearing off!"

Bebop "We're changing! We're getting hurt knees now!"

Rocksteady "Yo, Bop, you hear that?"

Bebop "Sounds like... Like—"

Bebop & Rocksteady "Bemsha Swing!"

Rocksteady "What's that, the Miles version?"

Bebop "Personally for me, can't beat the Monk Trio version."

Ragtime "Uh, you guys know music, huh?"

Rocksteady "That's right, Ragtime."

Rocksteady "Always wondered what these hobos put in these stick bags."

Bebop "Turns out, junk!"

Bebop "I mean, what's this? A picture of his family? Yuck!"

Rocksteady "It's what we get."

Rocksteady "Wish we hadn't thrown him off so's I could throw him off again."

Rocksteady "Dang. Beedeedledee, don't look now, but you turned all the way back to human."

FRICK 💀 FRICKIN FRICK

Bebop "Our lives are over. All we had going for us was our power."

Rocksteady "We can't even be heroes like we was thinking. We might as well get suits and ties and go to work at the Burger Kink."

KA Dun

Page 3

Rocksteady "Sorta wish I didn't cut my ear off now."

Bebop "Huh... This train yard reminds me of when Karai tried to kill us. Remember?"

Rocksteady "Yeah. She was the best."

Rocksteady "Listen, Bop, ya know, we've been at this being bad guys thing since we was kids. Maybe it's time we grow up."

Bebop "You mean like go straight, be like everyone else?"

Rocksteady "Huh, yeah."

Bebop "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I mean look around. Look at all these normals. They're just fine. Better off than us."

Bebop "All of them have it figured out. See, where is this guy going? Somewhere, and I bet it's great!"

Bebop "They are all happy, and are we? Maybe sometimes, but right now, it feels like never!"

Rocksteady "Will this mean no more... Gang names?"

Bebop "...I guess so. It only makes sense."

Genealdo (Bebop) "You ready to do this, Maxence?"

Maxence (Rocksteady) "Let's go get jobs and be squares, Genealdo."

Gene "Yeah. But first we gotta get some good clothes."

Max "Right. One more mugging for cash to buy clothes."

Gene "I'm starving so make that two more muggings."

WAKISH

Gene "You there, boy! Point us to where we get jobs."

Page 4 & 5

Browder "Ma'am, Union Pacific is telling us the train they boarded was headed for San Antonio."

Ravenwood "Captain, let the rest of our flight know we are changing course for San Antonio."

Browder "Roger that."

Ravenwood "Any word from San Antonio law enforcement?"

Browder "Nothing. You'd think they'd have had a run in with them or that there wouldbe sightings, but it's quiet."

Ravenwood "Too quiet for Bebop and Rocksteady. What could they be doing...?"

(Gene and Max work in a diner washing dishes, but start roughhousing and burn down the diner.)

(Max works as a door-to-door knives salesman, but eventually attacks one of his customers.)

(Gene reads books to young children, but gets bored and he and Gene start having the children box each other.)

(Max works as a yoga instructor, but farts and offends the students.)

(Gene and Max work at a food assembly line, but start binging on the food as it passes them on the conveyor belt.)

(Max works as a parcel delivery man, but opens all the boxes to look inside.)

(Gene works as a life guard, but is asleep on the job.)

Page 6

[In a technological command center on wheels somewhere among the old Spanish missions of San Antonio.]

Hector Barrales >...I'm Razzmatazz signing off. Please hit the subscribe—<

Ravenwood "Pause."

Agent "It's Agent Browder, ma'am."

[...]IN'S
[...]URANT


Browder "I got a guy here says he had a run in with our friends on the train. They took his only worldly possessions."

Browder "The thing is, he says he happens to know that the train was on a nonstop rout, not to San Antonio, but to Houston."

Ravenwood >Damn it!<

Ravenwood "Good work, Agent Browder. Pack it up and report to A.I.C. We have no time to spare."

graffiti words

Max "Hey, Gene. Who feels like Chicken Tonight? Like Chicken Tonight!"

Gene "Oh, Max. Maxie. Max, my man, I've had a heck of a day. In my job cleaning up debris, we was, you know, cleaning up debris."

Gene "Some old lady's house burnt down."

Gene "And I guess I accidentally restarted the fire."

Gene "Then it spread to two other houses."

Ravenwood >Browder, this is Ravenwood.<

Page 7

Max "So, what you—"

Gene "Lost my job. Yeah."

Gene "This is fine, right? We're doing this being normal business right?"

Max "..."

Max "Oh, you should come work at the port with me."

Gene "Sure. As if it's so easy to just get a job at the port, Max."

Max "Gene."

Max "Gene, listen to me."

Max "Gene, I'll hire you. I'm the boss!"

Gene "...You're the boss? Damn it, Rockste—I mean Max, how do you always have the luck...?"

Gene "Maybe you are smarter than me. I don't know."

Max "Evening shift it is!"

[Up through the Gulf, through Galveston Bay, and into the shipping channels of Buffalo Bayou to the Port of Houston.]

Gene "Genealdo reporting for duty!"

Gene "Just point me to what you want ported and/or deported."

Max "Bebop—uh... Genaldo, you're late. And you're dressed like a dang weirdo. Where's your hard hat?"

Gene "That'll ruin my hair!"

Page 8

Max "The last boss was easy on the hat wearin', higher-up's found out. Who's to say how. But bingo bango, I'm boss now. And safety gear and dressing good is my thing."

Gene "Huh. Okay, Maxence. Have it your way! I'll put on some pants! We'll see about the hat."

Max "When you getback, Joe here is going to start your training. Maybe, maybe we'll see if you can do a forklift."

Gene "Training? I thought this was boats. I'm stick of trains."

Gene "That dork loves helmets and hats. Anything he can stick on his fat head... Wait. Who?"

Gene "I know that lady. Where from though?"

Gene "I remember—she was mad at me... It wasn't my fault though... I fought a bunch of her friends...? And it was the happiest time of my life..."

Gene "Xiang! It's Xiang!"

Gene "Oh, wow. What are the chances we'd meet here. What do ya got going on? Running drugs? Guns? That's cool. I'm just happy to see someone from the good ol' days of the Foot Clan."

Xiang Fei Tong "The Foot Clan?"

Gene "Yeah. Me and Max were in the Foot. Oh sorry, I mean Rocksteady. You remember Rocksteady. I'm Bebop. I'm normal now."

Page 9

Gene "Sorry about destroying your base. And like ruining your gang. Oh and getting you put in jail."

Xiang "Bebop and Rocksteady."

Max "Gene, I forgot. You gota sign—hey, it's Xiang."

Xiang "Bebop and Rocksteady."

Xiang "Hahahaha! I have waited so long for this day. How could I have known it would be this perfect?"

Xiang "Ghost Boys! Yiqi!"

Xiang "Bebop and Rocksteady. Meet the new Ghost Boys."

Xiang "After you ruined all that I had built, it wasn't easy starting again from the bottom, but I've managed."

Max "Wwwow. You guys look great!"

Max "Hey, you know if you're looking for some more guys for your gang..."

Gene "I was thinking the same thing, Max!"

Gene "But ten I remembered nobody would want us in their gang, we're just boring humans now."

Xiang "I don't know why you're humans again, but it won't last long."

Max "We're going to be mutants again?"

Xiang "You're going to be corpses."

Xiang "Ghost Boys, kill them!"

Page 10

BOMBS NOT BOOKS

AAAAAAAHHHHH

URT

Gene "Look out!"

Max "Bad guys, lots of them, gonna kill us!"

Driver "Good golly, well, hop in! Happy to help a couple nice fellas like you."

Driver "I'll take you to the office and we'll call the police."

Gene "Nice fellas?"

Max "Call the cops?"

Driver "What'd you fellas say your names were again?"

Gene "It's wrong. It's all wrong."

Gene "Our names?"

(Bebop and Rocksteady kill the driver.)

Rocksteady "You know, I don't think we're cut out for being normal! That felt good!"

Bebop "We're criminals, my man. We're not people, we're monsters. Always have been. Always will be!"

Page 11

Rocksteady "Screw Max and Gene!"

Bebop "We're Bebop and Rocksteady!"

Bebop "Thought we'd go down easy, huh, plankton-chips?"

Rocksteady "Thing about Bebop and Rocksteady... We don't know when to quit."

Page 12


CRASH

KA BOOM

Xiang "Again!"

Xiang "Again you ruin me! You are my curse, Rocksteady and Bebop!"

Xiang "Unleash..."

Page 13

Xiang "...The Ghost-Bots!"

Xiang "After last time, I knew I needed something strong enough to match mutant power. I'm sure they'll make short work of you mere men."

Bebop "Robot ghosts? Way to go, Xiang!"

Rocksteady "We were never mermen!"

Xiang "Kill them!"

Bebop "Kill this!"

WHAK

THOOM

Page 14

Rocksteady "Bebop!"

Rocksteady "Glhck—"

Ghost-Bot Pilot "Better watch our for yourself, scum!"

BOOM

Bebop "Damn! This doesn't look right. This woulda never happened if I was still a war thog."

CHNK CHNK

Rocksteady "Yeah! Does that tickle? Take tha—"

Rocksteady "Heewaaaiuh!"

ker poosh

Bebop "Let's see you hit a moving target, sucker!"

Bebop "Damn!"

Page 15

SKRISH

ker poosh

Rocksteady "Bee—Bee, is that you? I think I'm hurt real bad. This might be it, Bebop."

Bebop "I'm—I'm not doing too good myself, Rockstea—{cough} Rockst—{hack cough} Ro—{cough}—ck—{cough hack}—ste—{hack hack gurgle cough}—dy! {Siiigh} But we'll be fi-fine."

CHUN CHUN

Ghost-Bot Pilot "There you are. Hiding. Like rats!"

Rocksteady "Hey! You take that back! Fore I crawl outta here and..."

Bebop "We—{cough hack hack cough}"

Same Pilot "Shut up! You killed my sister. Now she will be avenged!"

Page 16

(Anchovy attacks the Ghost-Bot.)

CRACK CRACK

Same Pilot "No! Somebody help!"

squee squee squee

Bebop "Rock, we're rolling..."

squee squee squee

SKRISH

Page 17

Boom!

Other Ghost-Bot Pilot "Say goodbye."

VVRROOOOOOOOOO

Ravenwood >This is the Earth Protection Force. Put down your weapons and lie face down on the ground. Bebop and Rocksteady, I know you're here. Turn yourselves in peacefully.<

Page 18

SHIIK SHIIK

Xiang "Fight them! Don't let them take us!"

(Xiang massacres many EPF soldiers.)

Xiang "Yyyaaah!"

Page 19

Ravenwood "If it isn't Xiang Fei Tong!"

Ravenwood "Already back to infecting and corrupting the world!"

Ravenwood "You're a disease!"

Ravenwood "And I'm the vaccine."

SLAM

Soldier "Agent Ravenwood, we've got them, ma'am."

Ravenwood "Fantastic. Show me."

Page 20

Same Soldier "They seem to be some kind of mech-suits."

Same Soldier "{Sniff} Yeah, I've seen similar prototypes."

Same Soldier "I had no idea these were on the black market."

Ravenwood "I don't care about mech-suits! Rocksteady and Bebop are mutants! Find them! They'll be hard to miss!"

Ravenwood "They are monsters!"

(Bebop and Rocksteady lie critically wounded.)

Rocksteady "Heh heh. That's right..."

Bebop "We're monsters."

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