Artless

“Artless”
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 Cartoon) episode
Title screen
Season Code:	EU05
Episode:	05
Original airdate	1992 (Europe) October 2, 1993 (USA)
Written by	Doug Molitor
Producers:	Bruno-Rene Huchez
Directed by	Bruno-Rene Huchez
Story Editor:	Jack Mendelsohn
Episode chronology ← Previous Next → "Venice on the Half-Shell" "Ring of Fire"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1992-1993 Vacation in Europe sideseason 1992-1993 List of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episodes

Episodes: "Tower of Power" "Rust Never Sleeps" "A Real Snow Job" "Venice on the Half-Shell" "Artless" "Ring of Fire" "The Irish Jig Is Up" "Shredder's New Sword" "The Lost Queen of Atlantis" "Turtles on the Orient Express" "April Gets in Dutch" "Northern Lights Out" "Elementary, My Dear Turtle" 1987 Season – 1988 Season – 1989 Season – 1990 Season – 1991 Season – 1992 Season – 1992-1993 Vacation in Europe sideseason – 1993 Season – 1994 Season – 1995 Season – 1996 Season

Artless is the fifth episode of the Vacation in Europe sideseason. Part of the Vacation in Europe sideseason, it had already aired in many European countries during 1992 before airing in the USA on 2 October 1993.

Appearing in Artless

Major characters

• Leonardo (Cam Clarke)
• Donatello (Barry Gordon)
• Raphael (Hal Rayle)
• Michelangelo (Townsend Coleman)
• Splinter (Peter Renaday)
• April O'Neil (Renae Jacobs)
• Vernon Fenwick (Peter Renaday)
• Dob (Hal Rayle)
• Yikum (Renae Jacobs)

Minor characters

• Italian Policeman (Cam Clarke)
• Tourist (Barry Gordon)
• Marco

Species

• Human
• Lookron
• Mutant rat
• Mutant turtle

Objects and vehicles

• Bō
• Katana
• Nunchaku
• Sai
• Trident
• Turtle Van

Locations

• Italy
  • Florence
    • Galleria dell'Accademia
  • Milan
    • Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie
  • Rome
    • Colosseum
    • School of Athens
    • Trevi Fountain
• Vatican City
  • Sistine Chapel

Plot

The Turtles and Splinter arrive in Florence, Italy, while also watching April's report on the legendary painting "The Last Supper". At the same time, two aliens, Dob and Yikum, are also watching her report and decide that they want the masterpiece themselves - and so the painting vanishes right in the middle of April's report.

While they consider how to recover "The Last Supper," Splinter attempts to educate the Turtles on their namesakes' art, only to see the original Michelangelo's David statue stolen by the two aliens. When they try to intervene, the Turtles are sent flying into the sky and dropped into the river. Fortunately Donatello has a rocket pack that slows their descent enough for them to make it safely to the museum.

Unfortunately, they're confronted by angry museum guards and a mob of people who blame them for the vanishing art. Fortunately, Splinter shows up with the Turtle Van, allowing them to escape. They figure out that the aliens are basing their thefts around April's news reports on the Renaissance masters, and that the next target will be Raphael's frescoes in Rome, specifically "The School of Athens."

They make their way to Rome, where the Turtles infiltrate the Vatican by dressing as monks. Unfortunately the painting is already gone by the time they arrive, and tourists are running from the famed Sistine Chapel. The Turtles arrive just as the aliens are planning to steal the chapel's ceiling, and Splinter manages to knock April out of the chapel before vanishing.

The Turtles were teleported along with the artwork as well, down into the Catacombs. They manage to remain unobtrusive until Michelangelo freaks out at the idea of being in a system of tombs. Upon hearing their names, the aliens mistakenly believe that they are the actual artists, and decide to kidnap the Turtles and bring them back to their galaxy as well. Frozen in place and disarmed, the Turtles try to convince their kidnappers that they aren't artists, but they aren't believed.

Splinter meets up with April once again, this time with a plan to defeat the aliens - doing a fine arts report on the Colosseum. Transporting something so massive causes the stasis field around the Turtles to putter out, and they leap through the energy portal into the Colosseum. Dob and Yikum arrive to reclaim them, but the Turtles arm themselves with gladiatorial weapons.

The machinery finally burns out from trying to transport the Colosseum, and the Turtles drive the aliens into retreat. But they still have the priceless masterpieces, so the Turtles head back down into the catacombs and begin fighting once again.

However, April and Splinter pretend that the masterpieces are actually clever forgeries, by sticking "Made in the Crab Nebula" stickers on them. They convince the aliens to return the "fake" masterpieces, which they do to avoid having anyone know that they fell for such trickery. That night, as the Turtles are eating pizza, they witness an art expert finding one of the stickers left on "The Last Supper."

See also

• Artless/Gallery
• Artless/Transcript

Notes and errors

• The the second-to-last shot of the episode, Raphael is seen with a sai on his belt and the end of the handle is coloured brown, even though none of the Turtles wore their weapons in the final scene.

Trivia

• When the Turtles are chased by italian photographers, Michelangelo says "Who'd pay to see a movie about mutant turtles?". This is a reference to the TMNT movie trilogy released in 1990-1993. 
• While a depiction of Michaelangelo's "David" is in the episode, the lower groin is censored by lack of depiction in the episode.

Home media releases

DVD

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Season 7, Part 1 (12 May 2008)
• The Complete Classic Series Collection (12 November 2012)