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[The episode starts with April trying to sell some cookies.]
APRIL: "Buy a cookie and help me save trees! Without trees there’d be no air. Without air there’d be no us. Think of the trees, people!"
[No person came. She hears a crowd cheering and sees a group of girl scouts making a sale of brownies.]
GIRL: "Try Grandma CJ’s brownies and you’ll see just how good a brownie can be. Way better than a cookie."
[In the Lair, April held up her phone as she laid on the armchair.]
APRIL: "And the list of my failures continues to grow. That crashed harder than my aviary club. Miniatures club, Magician assistance club. That was just Tuesday."
SPLINTER: "Sounds like you could use a little help from an experienced salesman. Sit and watch."
[He presses play and the old man is shown on the screen. He’s throwing bird seed onto the ground, but the bird flies away.]
LOU JITSU: "Do you think you are a failure? Are you afraid you’ll never achieve your goals?"
[Lou Jitsu appears]
LOU JITSU: "Well, hot soup that attitude in the face! Hello, I am action star Lou Jitsu. You know me from hit films and infomercials like greeting card neckties and dream catcher gloves. I am here to talk to you about my patented five step Lou Jitsu J.I.T.S.U Strategy. Follow my plan and you can karate chop any obstacle between you and your goals into splinters."
[April pauses the T.V]
SPLINTER: "What? This is the best part."
APRIL: "You're in! But we need something to disguise this…[Splinter leaves and comes back with his disguise like he did in Shadow of Evil.] ….whole situation."
[Back outside the park, April is now with Splinter in his disguise.]
SPLINTER: "Alright, April, just remember this. When making a sale, you are not selling the cookie, you are selling an idea. Go on fly my little Lou."
APRIL: "Okay, you can do this O’Neil.[takes deep breath] People of New York, are you enjoying the sunny spring day? The outdoors, the breathing of air, buy this cookie or there won’t be any more air! Or cookies, or us, because trees!"
(People run away in fright. April lagged her shoulders as the Girl Scouts nearby laugh at her,
SPLINTER: "Don't sweat it, April. Sit back and watch how it’s done. Remember this smell? Piping hot chocolate chip cookies like mom used to make. Oh, it brings me to simpler times. Times when I had someone to kiss my boo boos, to read me stories, and tuck me in at night. Now who wants to buy some love?"
[The crowd eagerly held up their bills and cheered. Splinter started to give them the cookies they wanted while the others left the other stand.]
JULIA: "I don’t currently take Mandarin, Spanish, Swedish and Flemish to be outsold by these bane."
(The tall girl receives a phone call and answers it.]
GIRL: "Julia, Grandma CJ wants to see you."
JULIA: "Huh?!"
(At Grandma CJ's HQ, the girl scouts are inside, moving around boxes and preparing tables and signs for sales. Julia is kneeling in front of her boss, who has her back turned to look out of the window.)
JULIA: "Boss, I know sales are down. But you got to believe me. It’s not my fault. There’s this new, super cool hairy teen and skinny jeans swinging cookies like rocks."
FOOT RECRUIT "Cookies?! The pheasants of desserts are beating my brownies?! This will not stand!"
JULIA: "Excellent. [holds a spiked bat] I shall crush our chocolate chip enemies between my fists.."
FOOT RECRUIT: "No! Bring them to me! These fashion forward punks are either going to work for me or they’ll never go to work at all!"
[At the park, Splinter is counting money as April is huddled over]
SPLINTER: "80, 90, 95, 110, 120, 135. What’d I tell you? We nailed it."
APRIL: "You did. No one took a pamphlet except that one guy who used it to wipe the cookie on his face."
SPLINTER: "Okay, that’s it. What has gotten into you?"
APRIL: "Without you, I wouldn’t raise a single dollar to plant new trees. I'm such a failure."
SPLINTER: "April, you are not a failure. You are…"
[Suddenly, his ears twitched and some bombs were thrown at them. He looks up to see the Girl Scouts holding dangerous weapons.]
SPLINTER: "Girls, could you give us a minute? I was just ramping up to a life changing speech."
JULIA: "The only thing you’re ramping up to is a meeting with Keats and Fitzgerald. I read at a 10 grade level."
[Julia punches April and Splinter, ties them up, and the brownie girls are ready to drive.]
[The next April knows, the lights turn on, and she’s tied to a chair.]
APRIL: "Where am I? What am I doing here?"
JULIA: "Grandma CJ wants to see you. Apparently, she wants to recruit you."
APRIL: "Why would she want me when she’s got you guys? You’re amazing."
JULIA: "Yes. Yes we are."
APRIL: "You should really let me go. If you do, this will go a lot easier for you."
[Girls laugh]
JULIA: "And how are you gonna break out of here?"
APRIL: Breaking out of places is easy. Me? I just go though that duct"
GIRL: "Whoa. You can crawl in that duck?"
JULIA: "It’s duct, not duck."
GIRL: "Duck. That's what I said."
JULIA: "No, you didn’t."
[As they argue, neither of them notice that April is starting to cut free with a walnut.]
[Meanwhile, Recruit is standing in front of Splinter tied into her office.]
SPLINTER: "I don’t know what you’re talking about."
[She throws a brownie onto his face. He licks off the crumb off his face.]
SPLINTER: "Brownie! Maybe you should hit me again?"
FOOT RECRUIT: [gripping his collar] "Do not lie to me, Lou Jitsu! I know you’re here to stop my world takeover!"
SPLINTER: "World take over?"
FOOT RECRUIT: "YES!"
SPLINTER: "As grandma CJ?"
FOOT RECRUIT: "Brownies are the key. If you sell enough, you get to meet everyone. Fortune 500, CEOs, mayors, world leaders. Once everyone knows our brand, we’ll be able to get into any office in the world. Even the oval one!"
SPLINTER: "Sounds complicated. How long is this going to take?"
FOOT RECRUIT: "Based on my projections and facing inflation and natural disasters of the Coco Region, it should only take...ten years?!"
[She begins to cry]
SPLINTER: "Uhh.."
[Julia is saying the differences between duct and duck as she pointed to the vent.]
APRIL: "Excuse me."
[The girls turned and in shock, they saw that April had freed herself.]
GIRL: "Whoa, did you just, like, untie yourself with a walnut? Amazing!"
APRIL: "That was basic."
[She throws the walnut at Julia, knocking over the screws of the ducts and knocking Julia into a pile of boxes.]
GIRL: "That was amazing!"
JULIA: "Guards attack!"
[The girl scouts appeared out of nowhere and began to attack.]
FOOT RECRUIT: "You know, those Foot Clan guys, they never really treated me right, but we were doing cool stuff. You know, like trying to raise the Shredder. [blows nose] You do that and your top dog. The world is your oyster to crush. Now I’m looking at brownie projections and watching the next ten years just bake by. I’m a failure."
SPLINTER: "Just because you failed doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You’re focusing only on the negative, not the positive."
FOOT RECRUIT: "What do you mean?"
SPLINTER: "Let me tell you about a girl I know. She also thinks she’s a failure. She’s incredibly tenacious and capable. Not everything she does works out. But that never stops her from trying."
[As Splinter talks, April is fighting the Girl Scouts. April catches the mop and spins it around, knocking away a girl. Then she knocked the girls off herself. Four hit the walls while the last two are standing on them in a heap.]
APRIL: "Who's next?"
JULIA: "I hate to beat up an old lady."
APRIL: I"'m sixteen!"
JULIA: "Exactly."
[Julia gets crazed and kicks her in the face and lands in a pile of boxes. April lifts her head and Julia swings down, hitting the trays.]
SPLINTER: "She could fail again. And again. And again! And again. But despite her many failures, she never gives in. She always finds a way forward. You remind me a lot of her. Your passion, you both strive for greatness."
[April slides and sended Julia into the air. The girl crashes onto the floor and then she throws bronies up in the air and lands in Julia’s mouth.]
APRIL: "Don’t forget milk!"
[She throws a milk carton at her. After she is federated. April braids all the girl’s hair and leaves them there.]
GIRL: "Wow, did you just French braid all of us together? Amazing!"
SPLINTER "And maybe brownies are not your key to world takeover, but if anyone was going to take over the world with brownies, I doubt they could do a better job than what you have."
FOOT RECRUIT: [blows nose] "Thank you so much. You’re such a great listener."
SPLINTER: "I feel like I did most of the talking.."
FOOT RECRUIT: "I feel like things are gonna be different now on. From this day forward….."
SPLINTER: "You’re going to start being a good person?"
[Recruit stands on the couch.]
FOOT RECRUIT: "Nobody will stand in my way to world domination!"
SPLINTER "Wrong lesson! Wrong lesson!"
[Suddenly, April fell through the vent and Recruit held Splinter hostage.]
FOOT RECRUIT: "You’ve taken out my entire Brownie clan. Impressive."
APRIL: "Let him go."
FOOT RECRUIT: "Make me."
SPLINTER: "Everyone calm down. I’m sure we can all find a way to get along."
FOOT RECRUIT: "Enough! Talks cheap."
APRIL: "I couldn’t agree more."
SPLINTER: "See how much you have in common?"
APRIL AND FOOT RECRUIT: "No, we don't. She's my enemy!"
SPLINTER: "Need I say more?"
APRIL: "Give me back my money and the rat."
FOOT RECRUIT: "How about I let him go but I keep the money?”
APRIL: Hmm… well…
SPLINTER: "Really?!"
APRIL: "Fine."
[Recruit pushes Splinter onto the ground and throws a smoke bomb.]
APRIL: "Well, she's gone. And so is our tree money. Looks like another typical April O’Neil failure."
SPLINTER: "April, you are not-"
APRIL: "Although I did rescue you."
SPLINTER: "Yes, w-"
APRIL: "And I did take out a troop of lethal little girls."
SPLINTER: "See-"
APRIL: "And I got myself free with a walnut! A walnut!"
SPLINTER: "Look at you. A J.I.T.S.U course graduate."
APRIL: "Yeah. But I still can't even sell a single cookie."
SPLINTER: "I know you will. It is like I said in my video tape..."
[His words are cut off]
LOU JITSU: "There is no one path to success, other than the one you make. If a popular punch isn’t working, approach your problem with flaming gorilla armbar!"
FOOT RECRUIT: "Yes, teach me how to armbar my way to world domination!"
[The same Shadowy Force that took Meat Sweats slithers into the room. Recruit stopped training and saw the shadow open up, her notebook flying right past. And then, she’s gone too.]