Thread:Gilgameshkun/@comment-26132616-20160131220708/@comment-995426-20160201101817

The script isn't bad. It's character-driven, it has a lot of well-connected action. I recognize some of the Mirage and IDW references, as well as some of the easter eggs in their dialogue. And I like how it doesn't conspicuously try to be just for young children, which is a big plus for a cynical Mirage fan like me. How long a runtime is this expected to be?

The "before I get...sarcastic" line was a little strange and awkward to read, in that it wasn't clear what Raph would be getting sarcastic about.

As for the script itself, it could use some formatting improvement. The action lines need to be clearer which characters is doing what, and have shorter sentences overall. And dialogue parentheticals need to be on their own line, like this (indentation not to scale):        CHARACTER     (parenthetically)   I am saying something now.     (addingly)   Like this.  Character names should be all-caps the first time they are mentioned. And it's generally frowned upon to have ellipses ("...") in character dialogue. In general, actors don't like it when screenplays tell them how to act&mdash;it's better to just give the screenplay the necessary information for the scene (enough to allow a reader to imagine it as a finished production), and leave it to the storyboarders, directors and actors to express their own talents. But considering you're doing this as an amateur instead of a professional, I'd say overall it's not that bad.